Tag: normalize breastfeeding

Four Years Later, I Still Get Nervous Breastfeeding in Public

hollymilkowski September 17, 2017

“Bless you, ma’am.”

“What?”

“Bless you,” he repeated, with a nod toward my nursing baby. “Traveling with your family…”

Then a young woman on the train offered me her seat as I nursed baby Julep again. I smiled and declined with a thank you. She mouthed a silent “Okay,” hands clutching to her heart and a whispered “Aww, it’s just so cute!”

Later a United airline employee noticed Julep in the carrier busy with something. She peeked down at his face obscured by a chubby hand.

“I see you’ve got those fingers in your mouth, huh?” she cooed. “Oh!” She laughed as he moved his hand, revealing a tiny mouth latched to me and leaking breast milk. “I see you’ve got something even better.”

Mostly praise and endearing smiles in reflection of Julep nursing in public…

When You Feel Awkward Seeing Breastfeeding in Public

hollymilkowski September 16, 2017

For one reason or another, some people feel awkward when they see a woman breastfeeding her child in public. This does not necessarily make them bad people. Their feelings can be perfectly valid; it takes a unique set of nature and nurture to arrive at the point of feeling awkward with a specific trigger such as this.

For those who aren’t accustomed to seeing breastfeeding in public and are largely uninformed about how it all works, a little patience may be needed as they adjust. After all, few of us have been spared from American culture’s mixed messages about women’s roles and heavy promotion of both infant formula and breasts as sex objects.

That said, misunderstanding and ignorance are acceptable; projection of fears and lashing out with harassing or discriminatory behavior are not.

Here are a few ideas about what to do and not do if you’re not yet comfortable seeing breastfeeding in public (but you’re working on it, right?).

Tandem Nursing Video: My 4-Year-Old & 9-Month Old

hollymilkowski February 9, 2017

Here we are simultaneously tandem nursing my 4-year-old and 9-month-old sons. I rarely nurse them together because it can be overwhelming and aggravating for me — I get touched out so easily.

My husband took a video and I wanted to share it because it is so sweet to watch siblings bond as they nurse together. Holding hands, laughing, stroking each other’s faces and hair… ❤

It is a much different experience than you might believe if you weren’t acquainted with child-led weaning, breastfeeding beyond infancy, or tandem nursing.

If I Could Give Only 5 Pieces of Breastfeeding Advice To a New Mom

hollymilkowski January 6, 2017

If you could give only five pieces of breastfeeding advice to a new mother, what would you say? Here’s what I’d tell her.

The Logistics and Worries of Tandem Nursing

hollymilkowski September 14, 2016

I have a lot of trust these days.

Mothers in our culture are told she should wean her older child when she’s pregnant (“or else you’ll miscarry!”); that the older one will take all the important nutrients away from the new baby if they tandem nurse; that the older kid should be eating “real” food so nursing is no longer a “need” (as if breastfeeding is alone defined by its nutritional profile); that the older child will never wean on his own.

I was forced to confront the truth-to-myth ratio in these things I really had no idea about. I wondered if I’m doing things right, I consulted with my intuition (and my children because they’re wiser than we give them credit for — and, I’ll admit, online forums and a Tarot deck more than once).

I realized tandem nursing just happens however it does, despite any careful planning or controlling I may have preferred. On a deeper, more trusting level, I know this is happening as its meant to.

I know my almost four-year-old MaiTai isn’t going to bogart all the milk that my newly four-month-old Julep needs. I know it’s okay for me to nurse my older kid in public. I know I’m not the first or last mother to tandem nurse children aged several years apart.

But the logistics of it all… the logistics! There’s no map for this.

My View at The Big Latch On – Houston

hollymilkowski August 8, 2016

This weekend I attended The Global Big Latch On as a mother, a resource person, and an advocate.

So what’s the point of women and their nurslings congregating to breastfeed together at 10:30 a.m. for sixty seconds? (Most of the kids were latched long before and after, of course). First, GBLO wanted to set a new world record for the most children simultaneously latched to breastfeed, and for the most moms simultaneously breastfeeding.

This popular World Breastfeeding Week event also spreads awareness of all the different ways mothers breastfeed (nursing newborns, infants and toddlers, older kids, tandem nursing, adoptive nursing, wet nursing, with various apparatus like nipple shields or SNS, restricted diet nursing, supplementing, and exclusively pumping mothers were counted for the latch, too).

It intends to encourage support networks for families within their communities during the breastfeeding years and beyond.

5 Reasons I Share My Breastfeeding Photos

hollymilkowski July 17, 2016

1). Breastfeeding needs to be seen to be learned.

“We absolutely need to see positive, educational breastfeeding images on social media and to encounter these maternal norms on a daily basis. Women learn how to breastfeed by example and observation, as is the natural design, rather than by instinctual expertise.

For a new mother, breastfeeding is like using a muscle she’s never used before — NOT like picking up an exercise routine with the blessing of muscle memory (even with breastfeeding experience, she still must learn afresh how to breastfeed each new child).” – Brelfies Aren’t TMI — They Celebrate a Power Exclusive to “Mom Bods”

Let’s Stop Defending Ourselves With “Nothing Was Even Showing!”

hollymilkowski February 4, 2016

I hear it all the time — women defending themselves for breastfeeding in public. Adamant that they deserve to feed their babies whenever and wherever needed, they say: “It’s not like you could see anything! Nothing was even showing!”

Great, but if you could see ‘something’… or if it had been ‘showing’… so what? Is it truly a valid defense for nursing a child in non-private situations?

Infant Feeding Today Pt. 3: Making a Baby-Friendly Culture Amid Formula Marketing

hollymilkowski February 2, 2016

From ‘Talkabout Baby’ by Ladybird Books, via sianuska.blogspot.com

THE TRUTH ABOUT FORMULA MARKETING

What Formula Companies Want You to Believe

MAKING A BABY-FRIENDLY CULTURE

Can You Support Formula Feeders and Fight Formula Marketing?

**Also check out Part One (Why Isn’t Every Baby Breastfed?) and Part Two (Cow-Made, Man-Made, or Mother-Made?) of this series.**

The Truth About Formula Marketing

Formula companies literally spend billions of dollars every year on marketing, which means it’s a really, really, really ingenious kind of marketing. If you don’t think their advertising practices are ‘so bad,’ that’s because they worked — they are, in fact, so good.

Infant Feeding Today Pt. 2: Cow-Made, Man-Made, or Mother-Made?

hollymilkowski February 1, 2016

Via Danielle Page (@TheVeganPage) on Twitter

COW-MADE, MAN-MADE, OR MOTHER-MADE?

Under the Microscope
Moo Milk vs. Mom’s Milk
Modern Formula vs. Human Milk

TOXINS IN INFANT FORMULA

**Also check out Part One (Why Isn’t Every Baby Breastfed?) and Part Three (Making a Baby-Friendly Culture Amid Formula Marketing) of this series.**

Cow-Made, Man-Made, or Mother-Made?

“Although most doctors avoid saying so, out of fear of alienating some clients, formula-fed babies are generally less healthy than breastfed babies. The cognitive development of babies fed formula doesn’t equal that of those who are breastfed. Breast milk protects against disease and promotes optimal brain growth. Formula does neither of these things.” – Kathleen Huggins, The Nursing Mother’s Guide to Weaning

There we go again: formula is not an equivalent substitute to breast milk, it’s just a good alternative. The only breast milk I’ve ever tasted is my own and I’ve been doing just fine (I think?) in my adult life as a previously formula-fed baby. So when I say a “good” alternative, I don’t secretly mean a “poisonous” one.

What That Doctor Who’s “Not Celebrating World Breastfeeding Week” Needs To Hear

hollymilkowski August 9, 2015

Way to try raining on our parade with something other than, you know, breast milk — which would’ve been very welcome this week!

There’s a piece circulating on the internet, made popular recently due to the fact that it’s World Breastfeeding Week and August is National Breastfeeding Month (let’s call these WBW).

Many people (even those who aren’t breastfeeding) have been celebrating in different ways. Some haven’t been celebrating because they had no idea it’s a week and month designated to breastfeeding. Or they do know but don’t really care.

And then, some are actively NOT celebrating because they do know and they do care. So much that they publicized their refusal to celebrate. One author who goes by the name of Dr. Amy Tuteur did just that. (Edit: Originally I linked to her full article, but I’m sure it’s received enough clicks at this point).

Now a few quotes from Dr. Amy’s article and what I think she needs to hear in response:

21 Ways To Celebrate National Breastfeeding Month Other Than, Well, Breastfeeding

hollymilkowski July 31, 2015

1.) TRIVIA TIME

Post breastfeeding trivia on your social media. Here are a few fun fact categories to start you off:

2). SAY THANKS TO MOMS

Thank a mother for breastfeeding. Put one of these cards in the hands of a mother you see nursing in public — or if you’re the shy type, leave it on the windshield of her car or tell her “I think you dropped this” before scampering off. So long as she gets the message, mission accomplished!

Check out a selection of cards here (Spanish version also available).

My Dear Toddler, I Want To Tell You Something You Already Know About Breastfeeding

hollymilkowski July 8, 2015

Photo Credit: Yvette Michelle for the Normalizing Breastfeeding Project 2015

I want to tell you I love you. So I say it,

and you hardly look up from playing

with your trucks. My words are hardly heard,

you are so busy. Then soon enough you ask to nurse

on the couch, you request, and we curl up together.

You teach me that actions do speak louder than words.

_________________________________

10 Differences Between Nursing an Infant & Nursing a Toddler

hollymilkowski July 2, 2015

This was my job as a mother to an infant: to nourish and love and protect my baby. Usually I could do all three with one tool… breastfeeding. During MaiTai’s infancy, it seemed breastfeeding was the best answer to almost anything.

Hungry? Nurse. Thirsty? Nurse. Overtired? Nurse. Bored? Nurse. Hurt or sick? Needing closeness? Feeling affectionate? Nurse, nurse, nurse. Of course, other types of attention and problem-solving were plenty helpful (looking at you, Sofie the Giraffe), but nothing quite like offering a breast in those early months.

In “My First Year of Breastfeeding”, you can read about how we managed from the first feed until the first birthday. I also posted a child-led weaning series (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4) where I explained the whys and hows of nursing beyond infancy, sometimes known as full-term breastfeeding/natural-term breastfeeding (I avoid the label “extended-term” because it’s a sustained practice rather than an addendum).

Here I’ll share what’s changed (or not) in toddlerhood nursing from the earliest days.

Defending Yourself Is Disrespectful, Say A Few Loud Ones Against Public Breastfeeding

hollymilkowski June 17, 2015

A few of the comments on a recent reactionary post I wrote are getting… a little out-of-hand, I’d say.

I don’t censor any non-spamming comments on my posts because I find great value in upholding the right to free speech and sharing of ideas. I personally feel that disapproving certain comments that rub me the wrong way could be likened to demanding that a breastfeeding mother throw a cover over her torso and child when in public just because someone can’t handle it.

Now I must learn how to handle things I don’t agree with too, such as antagonistic comments. (A heavy bet that zero of the nay-saying commenters would dare peep a word directly to me if they actually saw me breastfeeding in public).