When You Want To Wean — But Also Don’t

December 14, 2018

Okay, look. Breastfeeding is not all daffodils and lollipops. I like to think of breastfeeding as feeding + comforting a child, neither of which is ever easy no matter how you do it. Sometimes you will get to the point when enough is enough, and then you’ll revisit this point again later on and say, I really just can’t even. And somehow, you’ll find yourself at this same exact point, lo and behold, again to the againth degree — and you’ll say, I’m done. I’m really, really done.

You know the other internal conversation that happens alongside this one. The one that goes “But the way his little body feels in my arms…” and “How could I take this from him” — the one that blocks out the stress and aversion and irritation to focus on the foundation of what makes breastfeeding work: unconditional love.

Not that a mother’s unconditional love is all that’s needed to make breastfeeding a joyous success. Her willingness to try again for one more day, and another and another — that counts for something. Her comfort in this expression of multi-level nourishment as simply part of routine life with a child — that’s important, too. Read More

Birth Affirmations & Alternatives

November 15, 2018

If there’s a perfect time to take advantage of the power of positive thought, it’s childbirth! Birth affirmations provide an easy throughway to sharpening the mind-body connection before and during labor. They’re inclusive in that anyone can use them — you don’t need any special training, and they’re beneficial for any type of birth.

There are several ways to use these — maybe some ways work for you, maybe they all do, maybe none feel quite right (scroll to the bottom of this post for alternate ideas). There is no wrong answer.

  • You may enjoy visual reminders (for example, hung on paper or fabric around your birthing space, written on notes in random spots, lipsticked onto your bathroom mirror).
  • You may benefit from listening to mantras (audio tracks).
  • You can keep affirmations in your head, too. Just invite them into your mind every so often when you need an introvert’s pep talk.
  • Are rituals your thing? Fold a set of affirmations into your spiritual/religious/energetic ritual practices. The theme of birth will become a spotlighted energy as you progress further into pregnancy. Don’t fight it, let it join you!
  • Your partner can relay your favorite affirmations as partner support during labor (simply alter the pronouns/tenses as needed). Is your partner aware that simply showing care by verbalizing sweet nothings, pride, and appreciation can assuredly influence your hormone levels, reduce your fear, and decrease your reception of pain?

Read More

Help For Sore, Bleeding, or Cracked Nipples

November 12, 2018

At some point in your breastfeeding journey, you will probably have sore nipples. Your nipples can feel sore from virtually any reason under the sun: postpartum hormonal changes, early engorgement, shallow latch, dryness, medical conditions such as thrush and vasospasm, suction trauma, a biting baby, allergic reaction to a lotion or fragrance, even sunburn if you’ve been spending your summer beach days European-style. Sore nipples is also one of the first signs of pregnancy for many women.

“The best treatment for sore nipples is prevention.” Probably not what you wanted to hear, but it’s true, says Dr. Jack Newman. The most important part of treating sore nipples is to target the cause of the pain and effectively treating that. Read More

Circumcision: Parent With Purpose Interview

November 1, 2018

I was recently invited to join a dialogue with Lynda Harlos of the talk show Parent With Purpose.

From the video description:

“Deciding to Circumcise or not doesn’t make you a good or bad parent! Be informed and make your decision wisely. Click on this link to take you to the website to get all of the links regarding their website, and all their resources. […] Parent your own way #ParentWithPurpose […] We can help each other instead of judging each other.”

You can watch Part 1 here with Brittany Gillespie Cromar of Intact Utah.

After viewing that segment, click here for Part 2 in which I speak briefly on behalf of Intact Texas/Intact Houston about different topics that are frequently brought up in regard to infant male circumcision. You can also watch it directly on the website if you would like to take advantage of the plethora of attached resources.

Let me know your thoughts! What do you think is the most important message or knowledge about which to spread awareness, when it comes to routine infant circumcision?

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Breastfeeding a Premature Baby

October 23, 2018

Breastfeeding a premature baby is a tough job of importance that cannot be minimized. Should your feeding relationship include your own breast milk, donor milk, formula, or a combination, the whole journey will be a meaningful and deeply nourishing one for you and your baby.

This aspect of raising your baby may not have gone exactly as planned or imagined, but remember that unexpected adjustments are a normal part of the feeding routine. Feelings of sadness, disappointment, or fear are valid and worth discussing with supportive loved ones who can be motivated to help you breastfeed despite facing obstacles related to prematurity. Read More

Breastfeeding With a History of Sexual Abuse: Women Speak

October 4, 2018

A few things you might not know, starting with the numbers:

A reported 27% of childbearing-aged women were sexually abused in childhood, and an estimated 40% including adolescent/teen years. According to LLLI, 90% of abusers are male, 70-90% are known to their victims; and for girls, 30-50% of abusers are family members.

These are just numbers. Numbers don’t speak, but many of the individuals behind the statistics are doing just that. Sexual abuse causes lasting trauma that cannot be isolated by a number; it follows the victim throughout life, and if this person is a woman on a path to motherhood it has many specific, new chances for recall of its memory. Pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding bring enhanced susceptibility to a woman’s life, leaving her in jeopardy of rewounding.

Karen Wood, PhD, who notes that 1 in 3 to 1 in 5 Canadian girls are sexually abused in childhood, observed in her paper “Infant feeding experiences of women who were sexually abused in childhood”:

“A history of [childhood sexual abuse] can affect a woman’s experience of breastfeeding, including acting as a trigger for remembering or re[-]experiencing the abuse. Women who were sexually abused as children need to experience a sense of safety, acceptance, sensitivity, and understanding.”

You might assume that women who were sexually abused would be more hesitant to attempt breastfeeding than other mothers, but in fact the opposite has been found to be true. In a nationally representative sample study, women who self-reported past sexual abuse were more than twice as likely to initiate breastfeeding. They also were found to breastfeed at the same rate as those without a history of past abuse.

However, women who were or are currently sexually abused are at greater risk for postpartum depression, disturbed sleep, and perinatal complications. Interestingly, exclusive breastfeeding has been shown in a study to reduce rates of depression and poor sleep among survivors, as compared with formula feedings and mixed feedings (read about the study’s background and a podcast interview with the author here).

Still, night feedings are often especially frightening for survivors of abuse. They may have an especially difficult time managing views of breasts as both sources of nourishment and sexual objects. They may also have significant anxiety around the exposure and vulnerability brought on by public nursing. Read More