Preparing For Forever Weaning

hollymilkowski April 30, 2020

I have two children: one is seven, the other just turned four. The oldest nursed until he was six (plus a handful of times in the year afterward, but I still say his official weaning was at a full six years). The younger one, my current and final nursling, has some time left to go — he’s still going strong! But I’m already thinking about what his weaning will look like, and what affect it will have on our lives.

I imagine once he’s done, he’ll be really done. Based entirely on the behavior of my eldest, M, of course. M talks about “nanoo” fondly, albeit matter-of-factly. He thinks it’s both sweet and ridiculous how much his younger brother falls apart at the seams for nanoo, and is put right again with ease when provided mother’s milk. He offers to take photos of us nursing, either cooing “aww” or rolling his eyes at his little brother’s milk-inspired silliness. Read More

That Time We Made Breast Milk Soap

hollymilkowski April 12, 2020

Disclaimer: I did not receive any money, promotion, commission, or sponsorship from the manufacturer and/or company in exchange for this post or for sales of this product. I did receive a free sample of this product from the manufacturer. In this post, my own honest opinions are described.

Today was a good day for making breast milk soap. Stir-crazy kids, trapped in the house due to quarantine, needing to spice up the bathtime routine, breast milk for the taking… I’d say this project sounds like a recipe for sudsy success. Read More

Breastfeeding While Separated From Baby

hollymilkowski April 4, 2020

“In the early years the baby has an intense need to be with his mother, which is as basic as his need for food.” – La Leche League International

Babies are separated from their birth parents at varying degrees for many reasons, including maternal or infant contagious disease, traumatic birth, surgical birth, adoption or surrogacy, NICU stay, travel, return to work, quarantine, imprisonment, detainment, natural disaster, maternal medical emergency, and more.

I’ll expand upon a few of these here, but in general I hope the resources and tips can be adapted as needed. I intend to update this article with attention to other reasons for separation and their respective resources.

For the purpose of this post, I’m focusing on the effects of separation in infancy specifically on breastfeeding / feeding. Read More

Breastfeeding After a Cesarean

hollymilkowski April 1, 2020

Many studies have noticed the comparative difficulties in breastfeeding between those who experienced surgical and natural births.

One study found that “women who had a cesarean section experienced a significant delay in initiating breastfeeding compared with women giving birth vaginally, with or without instrumental assistance.”

Another paper concluded that “the inability of women who have undergone a cesarean section to breastfeed comfortably in the delivery room and in the immediate postpartum period seems to be the most likely explanation” for decreased rates of exclusive breastfeeding among surgical births.

The key to a sustained future with breastfeeding might be getting through the recovery period, which is usually more grueling and physically limiting for those who have undergone major surgery. That said, those wishing to breastfeed can feel encouraged that an emergency or elective surgical delivery mustn’t necessarily and negatively interfere with their plans.

In fact, Dr. William Sears believes a cesarean section should not dramatically impact breastfeeding, and those who birthed surgically can be as successful as vaginal birthers “as long as their commitment to breastfeeding remains high” (see these other Dr. Sears tips). In other words, breastfeeding people need to be thoroughly informed about what they can expect. Read More

Tips For Breastfeeding Under Quarantine

hollymilkowski March 23, 2020

1. Ease your mind with knowledge.

Thus far, COVID-19 has not been detected in breast milk of infected mothers, though data is still limited. Infectious spread is mainly caused by person-to-person contact through respiratory droplets.

The CDC advises that those confirmed or suspected of having a COVID-19 infection and are planning to breastfeed or are currently breastfeeding should CONTINUE to do so. There are very few medical conditions in which breastfeeding is currently considered contraindicated.

Frequent hand-washing, limiting visitor interaction, and adhering to proper pumping hygiene can decrease risks of acquiring or spreading the virus. CDC recommends infected mothers wear a face mask while breastfeeding, if possible.

In an immediate postpartum setting, follow the infection control guidelines found at CDC.gov.

For archives of updated information regarding C-19 and breastfeeding, see KellyMom.

Responsive Breastfeeding: Watch Your Baby, Not The Clock

hollymilkowski January 5, 2020

Once upon a time, scheduled feeding was the norm for infants. You may have heard of breastfeeding “on-cue” or “on demand,” also known as “responsive breastfeeding.” So what’s the difference? Why is this difference important and why does it matter?

First, absorb this couldn’t-be-truer quote by Dr. Nils Bergman: “Breastfeeding’s worst enemy is separation.” Read More

Celebration of the Breast

hollymilkowski August 25, 2019

A Year of Celebrating the Breast

Images by Blue Fitz Photography. Event co-hosted by Sage Beginnings Doula Services. Thank you to all who participated in this calendar!

Female Nipples Aren’t Obscene

hollymilkowski August 25, 2019

To promote acceptance of human bodies as inherently natural, innocuous, and not obscene, I’m proud to share this project celebrating Women’s Equality Day, Go Topless Day and the “Free The Nipple” movement.

By expressing this vision through art, we aim to encourage a change in societal and legal censorship norms to view bodies of women as truly equal to others.

This project was hosted in collaboration with Your Labor Neighbor | artist Melissa Rose Tylinski | artist Kellyn Kimbrell | North Houston Studio

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If a woman wishes to feel the warm sun on her skin at the beach like her brother… to lay in the grass, babies grazing upon her chest while she picnics with her partner… to pop out of her home to retrieve something from her car without fussing to scramble for an appropriate ensemble… to garden in her yard without needing to keep the neighborly peace by donning a button-down… if she wishes to do these things, why can’t she?

On one level, because of the law. Did you know it’s illegal for women to be topless in public in 35 states, including while breastfeeding?

In a few states, women have a legal right to go topless in the same areas as men, but even those women cannot properly enjoy the freedom (rather an illusion of equality) when faced with risk of harassment and humiliation. Protection from this risk is a privilege men have enjoyed for a long time without even realizing it.

Men have legally been allowed to be topless in public since 1936, a freedom they too had to fight for in ways similar to today’s Go Topless movement. Gaining this legal freedom finally secured their right to go bare-chested on public beaches, in parks, pools, and so on. Men don’t always want their tops on, which is why they fought for their right to choose toplessness without fear of stigma or lawbreaking. Read More

Breastfeeding With Chronic Disease

hollymilkowski March 12, 2019

It’s been well-documented that breastfeeding leads to lower risk of chronic diseases in childhood and beyond (per observational studies that suggest a connection between prevalence of chronic diseases and “suboptimal breastfeeding”). But what happens if the mother is the one affected by chronic disease?

Before you move on, please visit and read my disclaimer. For the TLDR, this information is not to be taken as medical advice as I’m not a doctor. Always consult with your own health care provider regarding any protocols, treatments, and diagnoses related to health.

hollymilkowski February 27, 2019

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Do you hate breastfeeding your toddler?

I actually don’t. Hate breastfeeding, that is. Maybe you can tell from the near-thousand breastfeeding photos I’ve shared on Instagram or the tens-of-thousands of words I’ve pressed into my keyboard about it here. But have I been enamored with every second? Certainly not. My love for breastfeeding is, in my own experience, a synchronized dance that swings along with the lyrical back-and-forth love I have for parenthood.

By now, the days of early nursing awkwardness seem so ancient, I might require a paleontologist to dig up those bones. I’m stuck like a thumb in a door jamb in a progressed era of breastfeeding, one that’s rarely talked about. I’m doing the nursing aversion thing… again. Read More

Breastfeeding a Premature Baby

hollymilkowski February 22, 2019

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Breastfeeding a premature baby is a tough job of importance that cannot be minimized. Should your feeding relationship include your own breast milk, donor milk, formula, or a combination, the whole journey will be a meaningful and deeply nourishing one for you and your baby.

This aspect of raising your baby may not have gone exactly as planned or imagined, but remember that unexpected adjustments are a normal part of the feeding routine. Feelings of sadness, disappointment, or fear are valid and worth discussing with supportive loved ones who can be motivated to help you breastfeed despite facing obstacles related to prematurity. Read More

Co-sleeping & Breastfeeding

hollymilkowski February 20, 2019

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Ah, sleep. Between the topics of how parents feed their child and how they medicate their child, somewhere we find the ultra-controversial topic of — dun dun dun (wish I could say zz, zzz, zzzz…) — infant sleep.

Your heart says to keep your baby close at all times, but your head hesitates with concerns about safety. Some authorities are convinced that co-sleeping contributes to infant deaths, while others insist it’s crucial for emotional security and exclusive breastfeeding. Somehow, “co-sleeping” has become a dirty word in our culture.

What to do? A good way to tell which sleeping arrangement is best is to evaluate your own sleeping habits. It’s difficult to make a blanket (see what I did there?) statement recommendation for all families given the range of variance in nighttime behaviors. Take all information into consideration to decide whether co-sleeping is worth the benefits to you and your child.

Keep in mind: many parents who didn’t originally plan to cosleep end up doing so anyway (the process of repeatedly getting up to tend to baby, then voyaging back to bed and trying to slip into slumber again, starts to feel like an unnecessary task when a nearby baby proves far more practical). Alas, it’s prudent to get acquainted with how cosleeping works regardless of your nighttime intentions. Read More

Nurses, Please Stop Telling Me To Cover When Breastfeeding at Your Hospital

hollymilkowski January 18, 2019

Last week, my youngest was under the weather and we had a brief hospital visit at the end of one very long day.

While sick, he was nursing nonstop. This meant he was still nursing when we arrived at the hospital — him in my arms, feverish, comforted by my breast. Read More

Birth Affirmations & Alternatives

hollymilkowski November 15, 2018

If there’s a perfect time to take advantage of the power of positive thought, it’s childbirth! Birth affirmations provide an easy throughway to sharpening the mind-body connection before and during labor. They’re inclusive in that anyone can use them — you don’t need any special training, and they’re beneficial for any type of birth.

There are several ways to use these — maybe some ways work for you, maybe they all do, maybe none feel quite right (scroll to the bottom of this post for alternate ideas). There is no wrong answer.

You may enjoy visual reminders (for example, hung on paper or fabric around your birthing space, written on notes in random spots, lipsticked onto your bathroom mirror).
You may benefit from listening to mantras (audio tracks).
You can keep affirmations in your head, too. Just invite them into your mind every so often when you need an introvert’s pep talk.
Are rituals your thing? Fold a set of affirmations into your spiritual/religious/energetic ritual practices. The theme of birth will become a spotlighted energy as you progress further into pregnancy. Don’t fight it, let it join you!
Your partner can relay your favorite affirmations as partner support during labor (simply alter the pronouns/tenses as needed). Is your partner aware that simply showing care by verbalizing sweet nothings, pride, and appreciation can assuredly influence your hormone levels, reduce your fear, and decrease your reception of pain?

Help For Sore, Bleeding, or Cracked Nipples

hollymilkowski November 12, 2018

At some point in your breastfeeding journey, you will probably have sore nipples. Your nipples can feel sore from virtually any reason under the sun: postpartum hormonal changes, early engorgement, shallow latch, dryness, medical conditions such as thrush and vasospasm, suction trauma, a biting baby, allergic reaction to a lotion or fragrance, even sunburn if you’ve been spending your summer beach days European-style. Sore nipples is also one of the first signs of pregnancy for many women.

“The best treatment for sore nipples is prevention.” Probably not what you wanted to hear, but it’s true, says Dr. Jack Newman. The most important part of treating sore nipples is to target the cause of the pain and effectively treating that. Read More