Mama's Milk, No Chaser

Birth Affirmations & Alternatives

hollymilkowski November 15, 2018

If there’s a perfect time to take advantage of the power of positive thought, it’s childbirth! Birth affirmations provide an easy throughway to sharpening the mind-body connection before and during labor. They’re inclusive in that anyone can use them — you don’t need any special training, and they’re beneficial for any type of birth.

There are several ways to use these — maybe some ways work for you, maybe they all do, maybe none feel quite right (scroll to the bottom of this post for alternate ideas). There is no wrong answer.

You may enjoy visual reminders (for example, hung on paper or fabric around your birthing space, written on notes in random spots, lipsticked onto your bathroom mirror).
You may benefit from listening to mantras (audio tracks).
You can keep affirmations in your head, too. Just invite them into your mind every so often when you need an introvert’s pep talk.
Are rituals your thing? Fold a set of affirmations into your spiritual/religious/energetic ritual practices. The theme of birth will become a spotlighted energy as you progress further into pregnancy. Don’t fight it, let it join you!
Your partner can relay your favorite affirmations as partner support during labor (simply alter the pronouns/tenses as needed). Is your partner aware that simply showing care by verbalizing sweet nothings, pride, and appreciation can assuredly influence your hormone levels, reduce your fear, and decrease your reception of pain?

Help For Sore, Bleeding, or Cracked Nipples

hollymilkowski November 12, 2018

At some point in your breastfeeding journey, you will probably have sore nipples. Your nipples can feel sore from virtually any reason under the sun: postpartum hormonal changes, early engorgement, shallow latch, dryness, medical conditions such as thrush and vasospasm, suction trauma, a biting baby, allergic reaction to a lotion or fragrance, even sunburn if you’ve been spending your summer beach days European-style. Sore nipples is also one of the first signs of pregnancy for many women.

“The best treatment for sore nipples is prevention.” Probably not what you wanted to hear, but it’s true, says Dr. Jack Newman. The most important part of treating sore nipples is to target the cause of the pain and effectively treating that. Read More

Circumcision: Parent With Purpose Interview

hollymilkowski November 1, 2018

I was recently invited to join a dialogue with Lynda Harlos of the talk show Parent With Purpose.

From the video description:

“Deciding to Circumcise or not doesn’t make you a good or bad parent! Be informed and make your decision wisely. Click on this link to take you to the website to get all of the links regarding their website, and all their resources. […] Parent your own way #ParentWithPurpose […] We can help each other instead of judging each other.”

You can watch Part 1 here with Brittany Gillespie Cromar of Intact Utah.

After viewing that segment, click here for Part 2 in which I speak briefly on behalf of Intact Texas/Intact Houston about different topics that are frequently brought up in regard to infant male circumcision. You can also watch it directly on the website if you would like to take advantage of the plethora of attached resources.

Let me know your thoughts! What do you think is the most important message or knowledge about which to spread awareness, when it comes to routine infant circumcision?

Breastfeeding With a History of Sexual Abuse: Women Speak

hollymilkowski October 4, 2018

A few things you might not know, starting with the numbers:

A reported 27% of childbearing-aged women were sexually abused in childhood, and an estimated 40% including adolescent/teen years. According to LLLI, 90% of abusers are male, 70-90% are known to their victims; and for girls, 30-50% of abusers are family members.

These are just numbers. Numbers don’t speak, but many of the individuals behind the statistics are doing just that. Sexual abuse causes lasting trauma that cannot be isolated by a number; it follows the victim throughout life, and if this person is a woman on a path to motherhood it has many specific, new chances for recall of its memory. Pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding bring enhanced susceptibility to a woman’s life, leaving her in jeopardy of rewounding.

Karen Wood, PhD, who notes that 1 in 3 to 1 in 5 Canadian girls are sexually abused in childhood, observed in her paper “Infant feeding experiences of women who were sexually abused in childhood”:

“A history of [childhood sexual abuse] can affect a woman’s experience of breastfeeding, including acting as a trigger for remembering or re[-]experiencing the abuse. Women who were sexually abused as children need to experience a sense of safety, acceptance, sensitivity, and understanding.”

You might assume that women who were sexually abused would be more hesitant to attempt breastfeeding than other mothers, but in fact the opposite has been found to be true. In a nationally representative sample study, women who self-reported past sexual abuse were more than twice as likely to initiate breastfeeding. They also were found to breastfeed at the same rate as those without a history of past abuse.

However, women who were or are currently sexually abused are at greater risk for postpartum depression, disturbed sleep, and perinatal complications. Interestingly, exclusive breastfeeding has been shown in a study to reduce rates of depression and poor sleep among survivors, as compared with formula feedings and mixed feedings (read about the study’s background and a podcast interview with the author here).

Still, night feedings are often especially frightening for survivors of abuse. They may have an especially difficult time managing views of breasts as both sources of nourishment and sexual objects. They may also have significant anxiety around the exposure and vulnerability brought on by public nursing. Read More

For When You’ve Sprung a Breast Milk Leak

hollymilkowski September 28, 2018

Leaky boobs are more of an imposition upon convenience rather than a condition needing a “cure.” If your faucets just don’t seem to turn off, know that although your shirts will get damp, it shouldn’t put a damper on your breastfeeding success. Read More

“Just a mother”

hollymilkowski September 21, 2018

I was so done with the world of new motherhood.

I was distancing myself.

I grew tired of writing about motherhood. You know why? Because I grew tired of being a mother. I was tired of everything mother. Being judged because I’m a mother. Always working but never ‘at work’ as a mother. Late nights that never end and early mornings as a mother. All the restrictions I feel as a mother.

I was tired of being a ‘stay at home’ mother. Tired of caring so immeasurably much about my children that my heart is always on the brink of hurting. Tired of having to choose between things that make me happy that don’t involve my children, and things I must do (or want to do) as a mother. Tired of being told it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s hard to make changes when you’re so tired. Read More

Is ‘Weaned’ in the Eye of the Beholder?

hollymilkowski August 8, 2018

My older son weaned a few months ago at 5 and a half years old. At least that’s how I’d describe his complete lack of requests to nurse during this time. He doesn’t seem to agree however!

A conversation we had earlier today, as we watched little brother J comfort nurse: Read More

For a Vegan Mom Raising a Vegan Baby

hollymilkowski August 2, 2018

You can stay vegan while raising your baby — and s/he can be vegan, too!

There are a few scary stories out there. You’ve probably heard of the malnourished child, starved to death, medically neglected? Parents happened to be vegan? Yeah, it’s easy to point the finger at veganism for this tragedy. But the reality is, we’ve heard the same terrible tale many times and somehow the presence of (or lack of) animal products in the family diet is only questioned when vegans are involved.

Truth is, many physicians agree that a child can thrive on a well-planned vegan diet and that nutrition based on a foundation of whole, fresh foods is the key to balanced health.

Learn more about the benefits of a plant-based diet for kids here, here, and here. Read More

Should You Restore Your Son’s Foreskin?

hollymilkowski June 16, 2018

This post was written by N.O.R.M. North Houston coordinator Eric Smith (known to this blog as The Designated Dad). We both receive questions from parents who regretfully had their sons circumcised and want to know if they can or should attempt to restore his foreskin. The following information addresses this question.

For a reminder about what foreskin restoration is and how it can benefit men, read about it here, here, and here.

Jaundice & the Breastfed Baby

hollymilkowski June 10, 2018

Newborn jaundice is normal in most cases, appearing within 2-3 days post-birth, and affecting up to 60% of full-term babies.

Physiologic jaundice is caused by a buildup of bilirubin, which is produced when red blood cells are broken down. The liver is responsible for eliminating the bilirubin, but a newborn’s liver is often too immature to efficiently handle this process yet. This causes a yellow cast on the skin (which can be trickier to detect in dark-skinned babies) and the eyeballs. This resolves itself in a week or two as the baby matures further and red blood cell levels have lowered.

In a breastfed baby, jaundice is more common and tends to persist longer than a formula-fed baby (as breastfed babies are the standard, this means it’s the norm). True breastmilk jaundice, which only affects 0.5% to 2.4% of newborns, sticks around longer than one or two weeks, sometimes up to twelve (now, this shouldn’t be confused with breastfeeding jaundice, which is caused by starvation/lack of proper milk intake). Bilirubin levels might even increase at the two-week mark. None of this is a cause for concern in an otherwise healthy baby.

On how breastmilk and formula compare in causality of newborn jaundice, Dr. Sears says:

“The difference is thought to be due to an as-yet unidentified factor in breastmilk that promotes increased intestinal absorption of bilirubin, so that it goes back into the bloodstream rather than moving on to the liver. Higher rates of jaundice in breastfed infants may also be related to lower milk intakes in the first days after birth, because of infrequent or inefficient feeding.”

Hence, why medical treatments should be avoided unless truly necessary because they threaten to interrupt breastfeeding further. As breastmilk helps move the baby’s bowels to remove excess bilirubin, frequent feedings will hasten the normal bodily process.

If bilirubin levels have reached more than 20 milligrams, a health provider might recommend treatment with phototherapy (ask about fiber optic blankets, an especially good option for nursing moms).

What not to do: do not supplement with sugar water, and do not restrict the baby from breastfeeding.

Links:

“Breastfeeding and Jaundice” – Jack Newman, MD, FRCPC, International Breastfeeding Centre

“Babies with Jaundice” – Dr. Sears

“Guidelines for Management of Jaundice in the Breastfeeding Infant Equal to or Greater Than 35 Weeks’ Gestation” – The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine Protocol Committee

Mi Patio Cafe: Serving Animal Products to Unaware Vegan Families Isn’t Ethical

hollymilkowski June 6, 2018

I’m quite upset to learn that food truck vendor Mi Patio Cafe & Grill sold animal flesh and animal dairy byproducts on nearly every food option on their menu at Vegandale Food & Drink Festival, where all food and beverages were intended to be fully vegan. Customers were livid and felt betrayed (by a local business nonetheless).

Hearing this news brought up a memory from my own experience at Vegandale. I helped at a New York City-based vendor table called Monk’s Meats for a few hours, assisting in sandwich prep. One customer glanced at the sandwich handed to him, then looked back at its server. “Is this meat?” he asked suspiciously. “Ah, no…” he received in reply. Overhearing this exchange, I thought to myself, Wow, how ridiculous! Let’s not be *that* kinda vegan… I mean, this is a vegan festival! Looks like this man had the right idea to question after all. (For the record, Monk’s Meats is a 100% plant-based business).

Vegandale was promoted as ‘100% vegan… Where you don’t have to worry about ingredients,’ and this reassurance was given in the website FAQ as well. We paid $10-$20 per ticket to enjoy a fully vegan community event with promise to uphold a certain standard of ethics.

What Vegans Said About Circumcision

hollymilkowski May 28, 2018

I know some of you roll your eyes when I say “Circumcision isn’t vegan.” But hear me out.

On a recent weekend, I represented Intact Vegan Network at Texas Vegan MayFest, a spring festival hosted by Rowdy Girl Sanctuary. If you haven’t heard of it already, it’s a vegan-owned and operated farm animal sanctuary in the heart of Texas cattle country. In fact, one of the owners used to be a cattle rancher himself before turning vegan.

“Intact Vegan Network is here to talk about… why it isn’t a good thing to cut off your baby’s foreskin,” announced Rowdy Girl Sanctuary founder Renee King-Sonnen during vendor introductions.

Cue me in the back behind my table, waving.

If bodybuilding, skincare, and musical artists can have a presence at vegan events, and we accept that it just makes sense, it can make sense for a circumcision education table to be there too.

Vegan While Breastfeeding

hollymilkowski May 22, 2018

Social-File-LLL_breastfeeding_session_san_antonio_texas_photographer_070816_NMM_1400 copyimg

Photo credit: Bloom Photography & Design

Is your little bean sprout kind of literally a bean sprout, thanks to your meat-free milk? Many women remove animal products from their diets in hopes of improved health, and thankfully it has been shown that animal-friendly lifestyles are not only perfectly safe but also as beneficial to a breastfed baby as his mother.

I read about maternal vegan diets while breastfeeding and had no concerns that my milk would still be perfectly healthy (in fact, likely more so). When my baby was exclusively consuming vegan breast milk, he was in the 94th percentile for weight, delightfully roll-y, meeting all milestones, and clearly not starved for nutrients. Read More

Vegan While Pregnant & Birthing

hollymilkowski May 18, 2018

Looking to enjoy an animal-friendly pregnancy, birth, and beyond? Read on for some tips I picked up along the way…

First, a little about my experience: I decided to eat a vegan diet four and a half years ago and shortly thereafter began adapting the rest of my lifestyle to be cohesive with veganism. Why? For sake of brevity, I’d say in this order: 1) for animals, 2) for my health, 3) for the planet.

Before, I was a type of pescetarian for some years. I ate fish on a regular basis (I’ll admit, I was addicted to sashimi grade raw fish — blech!), scrambled eggs on special occasions, and I didn’t consume much dairy or cheese directly, but also didn’t notice or care if it happened to be hidden in foods (which is most of them, it turns out!). So for me, the switch to a vegan diet was a pretty much a matter of ordering vegetable sushi, scrambling tofu instead of egg, and checking labels for dairy and other hidden animal ingredients.

My oldest son had just turned one a few months prior to this lifestyle change. He was starting to eat food other than breast milk, and it ended up being plenty of time to get adjusted before my next pregnancy, which was fully vegan and perfectly healthy.

Both of my kids are vegan (M is five, J just turned 2) and so is my husband, so that makes things easy when it comes to dining out, stocking the pantry, cooking meals and so on.

Skip ahead to sections: