Category: Attachment Parenting

Co-sleeping & Breastfeeding

hollymilkowski February 20, 2019

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Ah, sleep. Between the topics of how parents feed their child and how they medicate their child, somewhere we find the ultra-controversial topic of — dun dun dun (wish I could say zz, zzz, zzzz…) — infant sleep.

Your heart says to keep your baby close at all times, but your head hesitates with concerns about safety. Some authorities are convinced that co-sleeping contributes to infant deaths, while others insist it’s crucial for emotional security and exclusive breastfeeding. Somehow, “co-sleeping” has become a dirty word in our culture.

What to do? A good way to tell which sleeping arrangement is best is to evaluate your own sleeping habits. It’s difficult to make a blanket (see what I did there?) statement recommendation for all families given the range of variance in nighttime behaviors. Take all information into consideration to decide whether co-sleeping is worth the benefits to you and your child.

Keep in mind: many parents who didn’t originally plan to cosleep end up doing so anyway (the process of repeatedly getting up to tend to baby, then voyaging back to bed and trying to slip into slumber again, starts to feel like an unnecessary task when a nearby baby proves far more practical). Alas, it’s prudent to get acquainted with how cosleeping works regardless of your nighttime intentions. Read More

Circumcision: Parent With Purpose Interview

hollymilkowski November 1, 2018

I was recently invited to join a dialogue with Lynda Harlos of the talk show Parent With Purpose.

From the video description:

“Deciding to Circumcise or not doesn’t make you a good or bad parent! Be informed and make your decision wisely. Click on this link to take you to the website to get all of the links regarding their website, and all their resources. […] Parent your own way #ParentWithPurpose […] We can help each other instead of judging each other.”

You can watch Part 1 here with Brittany Gillespie Cromar of Intact Utah.

After viewing that segment, click here for Part 2 in which I speak briefly on behalf of Intact Texas/Intact Houston about different topics that are frequently brought up in regard to infant male circumcision. You can also watch it directly on the website if you would like to take advantage of the plethora of attached resources.

Let me know your thoughts! What do you think is the most important message or knowledge about which to spread awareness, when it comes to routine infant circumcision?

“Just a mother”

hollymilkowski September 21, 2018

I was so done with the world of new motherhood.

I was distancing myself.

I grew tired of writing about motherhood. You know why? Because I grew tired of being a mother. I was tired of everything mother. Being judged because I’m a mother. Always working but never ‘at work’ as a mother. Late nights that never end and early mornings as a mother. All the restrictions I feel as a mother.

I was tired of being a ‘stay at home’ mother. Tired of caring so immeasurably much about my children that my heart is always on the brink of hurting. Tired of having to choose between things that make me happy that don’t involve my children, and things I must do (or want to do) as a mother. Tired of being told it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s hard to make changes when you’re so tired. Read More

Is ‘Weaned’ in the Eye of the Beholder?

hollymilkowski August 8, 2018

My older son weaned a few months ago at 5 and a half years old. At least that’s how I’d describe his complete lack of requests to nurse during this time. He doesn’t seem to agree however!

A conversation we had earlier today, as we watched little brother J comfort nurse: Read More

For a Vegan Mom Raising a Vegan Baby

hollymilkowski August 2, 2018

You can stay vegan while raising your baby — and s/he can be vegan, too!

There are a few scary stories out there. You’ve probably heard of the malnourished child, starved to death, medically neglected? Parents happened to be vegan? Yeah, it’s easy to point the finger at veganism for this tragedy. But the reality is, we’ve heard the same terrible tale many times and somehow the presence of (or lack of) animal products in the family diet is only questioned when vegans are involved.

Truth is, many physicians agree that a child can thrive on a well-planned vegan diet and that nutrition based on a foundation of whole, fresh foods is the key to balanced health.

Learn more about the benefits of a plant-based diet for kids here, here, and here. Read More

What Vegans Said About Circumcision

hollymilkowski May 28, 2018

I know some of you roll your eyes when I say “Circumcision isn’t vegan.” But hear me out.

On a recent weekend, I represented Intact Vegan Network at Texas Vegan MayFest, a spring festival hosted by Rowdy Girl Sanctuary. If you haven’t heard of it already, it’s a vegan-owned and operated farm animal sanctuary in the heart of Texas cattle country. In fact, one of the owners used to be a cattle rancher himself before turning vegan.

“Intact Vegan Network is here to talk about… why it isn’t a good thing to cut off your baby’s foreskin,” announced Rowdy Girl Sanctuary founder Renee King-Sonnen during vendor introductions.

Cue me in the back behind my table, waving.

If bodybuilding, skincare, and musical artists can have a presence at vegan events, and we accept that it just makes sense, it can make sense for a circumcision education table to be there too.

Vegan While Pregnant & Birthing

hollymilkowski May 18, 2018

Looking to enjoy an animal-friendly pregnancy, birth, and beyond? Read on for some tips I picked up along the way…

First, a little about my experience: I decided to eat a vegan diet four and a half years ago and shortly thereafter began adapting the rest of my lifestyle to be cohesive with veganism. Why? For sake of brevity, I’d say in this order: 1) for animals, 2) for my health, 3) for the planet.

Before, I was a type of pescetarian for some years. I ate fish on a regular basis (I’ll admit, I was addicted to sashimi grade raw fish — blech!), scrambled eggs on special occasions, and I didn’t consume much dairy or cheese directly, but also didn’t notice or care if it happened to be hidden in foods (which is most of them, it turns out!). So for me, the switch to a vegan diet was a pretty much a matter of ordering vegetable sushi, scrambling tofu instead of egg, and checking labels for dairy and other hidden animal ingredients.

My oldest son had just turned one a few months prior to this lifestyle change. He was starting to eat food other than breast milk, and it ended up being plenty of time to get adjusted before my next pregnancy, which was fully vegan and perfectly healthy.

Both of my kids are vegan (M is five, J just turned 2) and so is my husband, so that makes things easy when it comes to dining out, stocking the pantry, cooking meals and so on.

Skip ahead to sections:

1). Vegan While Pregnant & Birthing

Tips
Prenatal Supplements
Prenatal Vaccines
The Orange Drink
Candles Used During Labor
Artificial Induction & Pain Management
Cord Separation
Consuming Your Placenta

2). Vegan While Breastfeeding

Tips
Mother’s Breast Milk
Donor Breast Milk
Plant-Based Formula
Conventional Formula
Homemade Formula
Lanolin Nipple Cream

And coming soon in the next post…

3). Vegan While Raising Baby

Tips
Vitamins
Baby Foods/Plant-Based BLW
Baby Products
OTC Medicines
Circumcision
Diapers

Disclosure statement because I’m not a Doctor, m’kay?

The following is not intended as medical advice. Always ask your doctor/pediatrician/naturopath/health provider for a professional opinion before taking any advice suggested here, which is for educational purposes only and to be considered at your own risk.

Also, please note – this post contains no paid affiliate links.

Beautiful Quotes in Celebration of Mothers

hollymilkowski May 11, 2018

“A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.” ― Cardinal Mermillod Read More

Changing Diapers & Changing Minds (About Circumcision)

hollymilkowski April 25, 2018

Cuteness overload “Born Perfect” cloth diaper found here.

The Great Cloth Diaper Change happened this weekend and I spent it educating about circumcision, a surgery that many American baby boys undergo in their early diapering days. I represented Intact Houston at Wellspring Midwifery Care & Birth Center‘s GCDC event, at which attendees attempted to set a new record for the number of babies changed into a cloth diaper simultaneously across the globe.

First, if you’ve ever wondered about how to cloth diaper a baby after circumcision, please read this.

Now I’d like to share some of the interactions we had throughout the day.

Encouragement For Full-Term & Tandem Breastfeeders

hollymilkowski April 17, 2018

🌻 These two milk siblings, blood brothers, M and J. Just over 5 years and almost 2 years old, respectively — the former the same age as my nursing journey overall and the latter the same as my experience in tandem nursing. Such tiny numbers really. Hard to imagine we were nothing and growing and birthing and birthed and empty and nourished more than once over in that amount of time.

M and J don’t like to be separated. Though they annoy each other and feel overwhelmed with the art of sharing from time to time, as siblings do, they prefer each other’s close company. J learns a lot from his big brother (like how to get dressed and sing) and M never hesitates to include J in his activities.

Their bond began when J was in my womb, every day growing stronger until one day he’d feel ready for life Earthside. From age 2.5 to 3.5 years, M watched my belly swell bigger and bigger. He knew his little brother was inside ‘swimming in water.’ He knew J could hear him so he spoke to him often. He said “Good morning!,” and “Good night!” every day for months, with a morning kiss and night kiss (and lots of extras in between).

He saw J for the first time around midnight, about an hour after he was born. I was laying in our bed with J on my breast. M gave J a kiss — a real, live, salty, good morning and good night kiss — right on his freshly born little head.

M had the honor of separating his little brother’s cord. We chose a Sacred Severance ceremony involving quiet, meditation, and burning of the cord instead of cutting. M, his dad, and our doula held candles to the cord in gentle recognition of this significant alteration. M was not present for the birth so this was his special contribution to our welcoming of J into the land of lung breathers.

J has known M his whole life. Though M was Earthside 3.5 years longer, it seems he’s known J just as long. Read More

No More Babies: How I Really Feel (Last Child Grief)

hollymilkowski September 25, 2017

Thoughts at 4 Months Postpartum

I only have two children, and two will be my only. We always planned to have two kids for the usual reasons: financial resources, practicality, health reasons, familiarity, and so on.

This pregnancy and postpartum were much different than the first. I suspect it has much to do with knowing they’ll be my last.

I feel the postpartum slipping away. My youngest is now four months old, which means a little more than a trimester ago he was playing, breathing, wriggling, and listening in my womb.

For these past months I’ve watched my body turn into something blooming and abundant to swollen and rumpling to deflated and limp, stressed from constant demands upon it and weak from the the endless drill of late nights and early mornings. I’ve felt unmotivated to move into a new chapter, for I know once that happens, I won’t get to call myself ‘newly postpartum.’ In my case, not ever again.

This is now the body I’m left with. Rather, this is the body I get to keep. I’ve got more skin than I had before, a herniated navel, and my hair seems to be grieving with me as it sheds like a willow in the fall.

I think I’ll say I’m no longer ‘postpartum’ when my linea nigra disappears. The first time it took a year. I think that’s when I’ll stop telling people “I just had a baby…”

Right now my body is a signpost of declarations that say this shop is closed, be back soon. I know better because my intentions are steps ahead; I know the shop is closed indefinitely. Read More

Reasons Why My 4-Year-Old Nurses (His Words & Mine)

hollymilkowski March 17, 2017

Reasons why my 4-year-old nurses — according to him:

1). “It’s delicious.”

Obviously, breast milk tastes good. I’ve heard some adults who breastfed until school age say they have no memories of actually breastfeeding, but they’ll never forget the sweet taste.

At more than 3 years old, MaiTai weaned briefly in the last trimester of my last pregnancy. I really thought he was done. Then my milk returned in full force after baby Julep’s birth and so did his remembrance of the sweet, sugary goodness.

Of course he wanted to test it out, see if it had changed.

(Incorrectly) Assumed Reasons Why My 4-Year-Old Nurses

hollymilkowski March 17, 2017

I think by now we can all agree exclusive breastfeeding is the optimal method of infant feeding. Our society is slowly but surely becoming more accepting (even approving) of breastfeeding (the concept of it, if anything).

But, here’s the thing.

I notice many of us still seem a tad obsessed with HOW LONG a woman and child should breastfeed.

Okay, so you get it, you get it. Breastfeeding is healthy, it’s both normal and best, and breastfeeding in public is perfectly appropriate.

But do you pause when the breastfeeding involves a child older than you’d expect? Do you question whether it’s still good or still appropriate? Do you already firmly believe it’s not? Have you ever uttered the phrase “I support breastfeeding, but…” and concluded with an opinion about upper age limits?

If I Could Give Only 5 Pieces of Breastfeeding Advice To a New Mom

hollymilkowski January 6, 2017

If you could give only five pieces of breastfeeding advice to a new mother, what would you say? Here’s what I’d tell her.

What The ‘Tree of Life’ Brelfies Tell Us About Breastfeeding Moms

hollymilkowski December 19, 2016

We really want to share our breastfeeding moments.

Nursing our children is incredibly important to us. We’re proud, grateful, sometimes hesitant, always brave. See how quickly we all LEAPED at a chance to share some of our most treasured breastfeeding moments?

That moment when our babies gave us the big ol’ doe eyes, thanking us from somewhere deep in their souls for nourishing them? We couldn’t ignore it. And we’re so happy about it, we want others to notice too.

An innocently cute brelfie (breastfeeding selfie) trend like this should go viral and incite mad passion — even the World Health Organization said so in a UN briefing for this year’s World Breastfeeding Week.

We’ve been patient. So very patient. But we’re starting to get antsy in our nursing gliders and uncomfortable under the paisley tent-covers. It takes this degree of overwhelming social media with Tree of Life brelfies to normalize breastfeeding by tomorrow, when it really should have happened yesterday.