Tag: intactivism

Isn’t the Ghost Inside a Single Onesie More Than Enough? (My Experience at GIAW 2017)

hollymilkowski April 9, 2017

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Image courtesy Saving Our Sons

Here we gathered, sixty four of us. All affected by circumcision in one way or another, the lucky among us protected from the worst of its damage. Sixty four of us prepared to deliver the message that natural bodies are normal, healthy, and beneficial; to leave the alteration for medical necessity or personal consent.

We were here for Genital Integrity Awareness Week — which, in the great fortune of the 2017 calendar — happened to fall on the same week that female genital cutting was outlawed in the U.S. twenty years ago.

For the past two decades, baby girls have been protected from threat to their genital integrity, but their brothers, sons, nephews and grandsons are still routinely cut in barbaric fashion. Some die, and the rest bear the telltale scar forever.

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Image courtesy Saving Our Sons

Giving Thanks For Intact Education

hollymilkowski November 7, 2016

It was perhaps the first beautiful day of the season and hardly anyone showed up. The morning was slow, and though I was grateful to spend a few hours outside without nearly fainting from the usually oppressive Texas heat, we had come here to talk to people… a lot of people.

The turnout did remain slight all day, but the conversations we had were meaningful. Even those who seemed to think they had no personal history with circumcision certainly had plenty to say… or plenty left unsaid, for now.

At the end of the day, though I did feel somewhat frustrated, confused and deflated, I walked away feeling mostly just thankful. The best part is, I know I wasn’t the only one.

If I Could Tell People Only 10 Things About Circumcision…

hollymilkowski October 6, 2016

We changed minds last weekend. I actually saw the process happen.

Sometimes like this: a pregnant mother walks up, admits she hasn’t researched circumcision and has no opinion on it, is told there’s no medical indication for routine circumcision, and walks off with her eyes glued to a handful of information she just received.

And sometimes like this: a mother of circumcised boys walks up, her attention caught by “117+ boys die” written on a frame, says “I didn’t know any of this when my boys were born,” is told “I’m so sorry,” and assures us “Don’t be sorry! You are doing a good thing. Tell EVERYONE.”

It was clear our message was supported, even by many of those who were hearing it for the very first time.

We wanted people to know about babies. That all babies want to remain whole. That babies of both sexes are equally “too cute to cut.” We wanted people to know about foreskin. That foreskin is normal. That its absence is a big deal.

We had a message about parents, too. We want to help you. We support you. We have answers.

Listen to Intact Houston On Air: The Circumision Decision

hollymilkowski August 17, 2016

The lovely Pat Jones of the Whole Mother Show (90.1 KPFT) asked if I’d like to be interviewed for a live episode about routine infant circumcision. It was to be with local doula Debbie Hull, along with my Intact Houston co-director Abbie who’d offered to join me. I was so excited to be there (a little nervous, but mostly excited and actually feeling well-prepared!).

‘Bad Moms’ & Circumcision

hollymilkowski August 14, 2016

Several people I know raised concerns about what was said in the ‘Bad Moms’ movie after having seen the trailer with their intact sons within hearing distance — kids old enough to be aware that their perfectly normal private parts were the butt of the ‘joke,’ but too young to understand the illogical reason why. Read More

How Balloons & Condoms Teach About Circumcision at PRIDE

hollymilkowski June 26, 2016

Handing out penis balloons, wilting in the heat, remembering the victims in the recent Orlando tragedy, spreading positive messages about foreskin… this was my experience of Houston’s PRIDE Festival this weekend.

Peaceful Parenting From The Sidewalk

hollymilkowski May 2, 2016

This weekend, I joined with advocates from across the nation to Chalk The Walk with our favorite peaceful parenting messages.

As always, this is a family-friendly event and all ages are welcome to participate. Perfect for us — especially this time with a 1.5-day-old baby and a 3.5-year-old kiddo in tow!

A variety of peaceful parenting topics were on display: Informed birth choice, breastfeeding, nighttime parenting (no CIO), cloth diapering, babywearing, gentle ‘discipline’, genital autonomy…

How They Reacted to “Know Better, Do Better…Bring Your Whole Baby Home”

hollymilkowski October 4, 2015

I spent most of this weekend with The Designated Dad talking to people about circumcision — mainly the two most common types in our country, which are neonatal male “medical” circumcisions in hospitals and religious circumcisions with mohels.

Our location: B.I.R.T.H. Fair (the acronym stands for “Bringing Information and Resources to Houston”), which is a hugely popular event that features more than sixty vendors, speaker sessions, giveaways, and education about pregnancy, birth, and parenting.

Our mission: Make it easier for people in our area to know better so they can do better… the result of which would see them bringing their whole babies home ❤

Read on for a collection of memorable stories and interactions from our day at the event.

Celebrating Autonomy of the Heart; Educating About Autonomy of All Parts

hollymilkowski July 7, 2015

Last week, the U.S. Supreme Court ruling to legalize gay marriage gave men and women who desire same-sex partnership the right to autonomy of their hearts.

Well-deserved, the celebration owed to this phenomenal development should last at least as long as the history of gay injustice. Still we cannot help but see this historical moment as a telling reminder: we’ve only just taken the first steps toward ending a collection of outdated oppressions targeting LGBT people in America.

The protection of a particular other human right is still withheld from a significant portion of the gay community (and their straight supporters and non-supporters alike).

650 million males currently living worldwide are victims of genital cutting (compared to 100 million victims of female genital cutting). In the United States, more than a million boys are cut every year; about 3,000 every day. Based on the (probably low) estimate that about 10% of the population identifies with being primarily homosexual, that means 65 million gay males have been circumcised.

22 of America’s Favorite Things To Say About Male Circumcision

hollymilkowski June 9, 2015

The man in a white van had slowed down to read our signs, then circled back around to park next to us. It was a week ago when Intact Houston and other Texas advocates gathered in the Houston Med Center for a demonstration to spread awareness for the landmark Chase Nebus-Hironimus case.

I felt excited that he was interested in our demonstration enough to come all the way back, but my optimism evaporated as soon as he opened his mouth.

He said a boy’s circumcision should be the business of no one except his father.

Write A Letter Like This To Help Protect Chase From Unwanted Circumcision

hollymilkowski May 21, 2015

Chase Nebus-Hironimus, the Florida child caught in the center of a parental battle over the state of his foreskin, now stands at great risk of being circumcised against his will at any time. But there is still hope and we must do what we can to continue to support him with our best efforts.

You can help at the convenient, comfortable location of your home or during your lunch break at work. An easy action for you, a potentially life-changing one for Chase.

The Park Is No Place For A Child To Find Out He’s Circumcised

hollymilkowski May 19, 2015

Did you notice the chalked messages on the asphalt of your city earlier this month?

Based on anecdotal experiences and observations on social media, I gather that some people were upset and offended by the colorful creations. They expressed concern that these messages are terrifically inappropriate displayed in public spaces where children can see them.

Genital autonomy advocates across the nation wielded chalk in recognition of Worldwide Week of Genital Autonomy, which ended on May 7th. Hosted as an event for The Intact Network/Saving Our Sons, activists were encouraged to create awareness about the harms of routine infant circumcision (RIC) by doing a simple act like chalking a message at a public park or dropping an educational card somewhere for other people to find.

I Changed My Mind — I’m No Longer Anti-Circumcision

hollymilkowski May 6, 2015

If you’ve been following my blog and Facebook posts, you know I’m usually quite vocal (visual?) about the dangers and harms of circumcision. But after an interesting conversation with a fellow vendor at the Association of Texas Midwives Conference last week, I want to retract (no pun) any time I’ve used the words “anti-circumcision” to describe myself or my stance. Truth be told, I’ve changed my mind.

The first day of the event, the neighboring vendor struggled to understand what our booth was all about. At first glance he somehow thought we were offering information on piercings for babies. Then he noticed these eye-catching, high-sheen cards…

Getting the Cold-Shoulder Because of a Hot Topic: Genital Integrity

hollymilkowski February 25, 2015

I know many family lifestyle writers and baby businesses avoid taking a position on genital integrity for fear of alienating followers or losing customers.

I’ve already been cold-shouldered by otherwise open-minded mama friends who still refuse to acknowledge the truth of neonatal circumcision’s damage.