Serving doubles at the breastfeeding bar, straight up with a twist of peaceful parenting.
I hear it all the time — women defending themselves for breastfeeding in public. Adamant that they deserve to feed their babies whenever and wherever needed, they say: “It’s not like you could see anything! Nothing was even showing!”
Great, but if you could see ‘something’… or if it had been ‘showing’… so what? Is it truly a valid defense for nursing a child in non-private situations?
Moving into winter now, the general atmosphere of life is all about reminiscing and catching up.
I’m so thankful for this little blog, the outlet it’s provided to write about what’s relevant to me at this time, and especially happy to have connected with many of those who follow this page and take time out of their days to read my posts. ❤
So, in anticipation of slowing down with post frequency during the holiday season, I compiled this list of the top ten most-read pieces published on Mama’s Milk, No Chaser in 2015. (The year’s not over yet, but I’m confident enough these will remain in similar enough positions in a month’s time).
Hope you enjoy reading!
If you never see breastfeeding, you’re missing awareness of a few things, or a true understanding of the whole thing — just like I was before I eventually saw it.
This way of child nurturing is so natural it can easily blend in with everything else we attend to in our domestic, professional, and social lives. But blending in is not equal to disappearing.
If you never see it, you may not know it’s how many women learn to become mothers. You may not know it’s how they continue to learn about who they are as mothers. So we must make a point to not let the image and act of breastfeeding disappear.
This was my job as a mother to an infant: to nourish and love and protect my baby. Usually I could do all three with one tool… breastfeeding. During MaiTai’s infancy, it seemed breastfeeding was the best answer to almost anything.
Hungry? Nurse. Thirsty? Nurse. Overtired? Nurse. Bored? Nurse. Hurt or sick? Needing closeness? Feeling affectionate? Nurse, nurse, nurse. Of course, other types of attention and problem-solving were plenty helpful (looking at you, Sofie the Giraffe), but nothing quite like offering a breast in those early months.
In “My First Year of Breastfeeding”, you can read about how we managed from the first feed until the first birthday. I also posted a child-led weaning series (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4) where I explained the whys and hows of nursing beyond infancy, sometimes known as full-term breastfeeding/natural-term breastfeeding (I avoid the label “extended-term” because it’s a sustained practice rather than an addendum).
Here I’ll share what’s changed (or not) in toddlerhood nursing from the earliest days.
A few of the comments on a recent reactionary post I wrote are getting… a little out-of-hand, I’d say.
I don’t censor any non-spamming comments on my posts because I find great value in upholding the right to free speech and sharing of ideas. I personally feel that disapproving certain comments that rub me the wrong way could be likened to demanding that a breastfeeding mother throw a cover over her torso and child when in public just because someone can’t handle it.
Now I must learn how to handle things I don’t agree with too, such as antagonistic comments. (A heavy bet that zero of the nay-saying commenters would dare peep a word directly to me if they actually saw me breastfeeding in public).
I went to a destination wedding this weekend in Charleston with my husband a.k.a. The Designated Dad (TDD) and our nursling MaiTai. The Bride and Groom are close relatives and TDD was the Best Man.
The first night I was excited to attend the rehearsal dinner. Shortly after arriving, I left briefly to use the bathroom. On my way back I was cornered — literally cornered — by the dinner’s host (another close family member). Let’s call him… Dinner Host.
“I need you to do me a big favor,” Dinner Host said. Ooh, exciting! I must be in on some kind of special surprise, I figured. Jokingly, I said, “Maybe, depends on the favor!”
Dinner Host’s face turned solemn and funereal. Something serious was afoot. Something dramatic. The thought actually crossed my mind if he was about to ask me to take someone to the Emergency Room.
“Holly,” he said. “I’m asking that if [MaiTai] needs to nurse tonight, that you go somewhere else. I know you’re very passionate about this, but honestly it isn’t the time or place.” Read More
A few quick notes in response to this article, “Dear breastfeeding moms, Is it really that hard to cover up?” Read More
Have you shared a “brelfie” (breastfeeding selfie) lately? A brelfie is a good thing, and here’s why.
We absolutely need to see positive, educational breastfeeding images on social media and to encounter these maternal norms on a daily basis. Women learn how to breastfeed by example and observation, as is the natural design, rather than by instinctual expertise. For a new mother, breastfeeding is like using a muscle she’s never used before — NOT like picking up an exercise routine with the blessing of muscle memory (even with breastfeeding experience, she still must learn afresh how to breastfeed each new child).
I never really liked the idea of a public breastfeeding room. The idea of some forced facade of comfort, inconvenience of location, the feeling of imposed separation rather than intimacy or community…
However, in practice and in reality, such a room can be a lifesaver for many families.
A private, quiet place to express breast milk is vital for many mothers. This kind of room is also useful in busy, loud areas like airports where an overstimulated baby can benefit from a break in the cacophony. It’s also generally a less-populated space than a public restroom, making diaper changes easier and quicker instead of stressful.
The fact that businesses and public venues in our country are stepping up to treat mothers and children to comfy, competitively lavish, Yelp-worthy spots to rest and renew is wonderful. It’s the thought that counts at least, and I can tell that many public establishments are really trying, if not fully succeeding just yet. (No worries, us mothers of tiny tikes know how to shed a grudge).
Interestingly, it may be especially helpful if the space is NOT called a public breastfeeding room (more on that in a bit). And even more so if the space is designed with educated intention.
Here are a few things I’ve noticed about what makes or breaks the overall quality and acceptability of a child care room.
Before a few weeks ago, the last time I went to Disneyworld was on Spring Break during my freshman year in college. I rode the rollercoasters, didn’t give a rat’s tail about sun protection in favor of a baked “glow,” and visited a movie theater where I’m sure I complained about someone’s baby crying “too loudly.” My most recent trip couldn’t have been any more different. I spent the extended weekend riding around in the rental car past twilight to get my two-and-a-half year old to sleep each night, carried an umbrella everywhere to battle the sun, and the sound of strangers’ babies crying made my head spin faster than Linda Blair’s to locate the source of the child’s upset. Read More
I just came across this parody made last fall by a group of students at Saint Francis Xavier University in Antigonish, N.S. It’s cute, educational, inspiring and funny — so why am I crying? I don’t know, maybe I’m just hormonal. Or maybe I’m just so happy that today’s generation of parents-to-be seem to really get it.
The video (scroll down to view) is a parody of Carly Rae Jepsen’s hit song “Call Me Maybe,” showing breastfeeding (okay, pseudo-breastfeeding of dolls, which I’m a pro at myself) in various real-life scenarios to expose ingrained hypocrisies and common yet ludicrous reactions.
Via Stouthaus Coffee/Facebook
Want some milk with your cuppa joe? Recently at Stouthaus Coffee in Austin, TX, it wasn’t very clear whether mama’s milk was welcome on the premises.
Texas Breastfeeding Coalition hosted an art exhibit to expand awareness among state legislators and the general public about special issues that breastfeeding mothers and babies face, as well as the importance of breastfeeding in keeping our youngest generations healthy. Read more about “Mother Nature’s Masterpiece” here.
The event is a highlight in the Coalition’s promotion of its recent and upcoming action days that aim to secure better protections for breastfeeding mothers both in public and in the workplace. Read up on the agenda for the Legislative Action Days here.
Via MassLive
Breastfeeding harassment is not always “in your face.” Often, it takes place behind the anonymity of a computer screen shield in online forums and posts. Sometimes it comes in the form of a “well-meaning” but still uncomfortable comment from a relative or friend. It’s also apparent by complaints made by strangers behind a mother’s back.
Here’s an example of the extremely ANTI-BABY culture that some regions in our nation call normal. Last week, Play Date Place in South Hadley, Massachusetts, which bills itself as a nurturing place (rather, “nuturing,” because PDP’s representative isn’t so gifted wit da grammurr), posted this on its Facebook page:
There’s got to be a way to talk about nursing, modesty, and covers without painting the uncovered breastfeeders as selfish exhibitionists or the covered ones as selfish prudes, right? In duly respecting nursinghood as a time for openness of many things — including our minds, hearts, and shirts — we help re-normalize a society that inaccurately views breasts as sex organs.
I hate to hear this: “Here’s XYZ method that will allow you to breastfeed in public without anyone even knowing you’re breastfeeding!”
Mama's Milk, No Chaser 