Category: Gentle Parenting

The Park Is No Place For A Child To Find Out He’s Circumcised

hollymilkowski May 19, 2015

Did you notice the chalked messages on the asphalt of your city earlier this month?

Based on anecdotal experiences and observations on social media, I gather that some people were upset and offended by the colorful creations. They expressed concern that these messages are terrifically inappropriate displayed in public spaces where children can see them.

Genital autonomy advocates across the nation wielded chalk in recognition of Worldwide Week of Genital Autonomy, which ended on May 7th. Hosted as an event for The Intact Network/Saving Our Sons, activists were encouraged to create awareness about the harms of routine infant circumcision (RIC) by doing a simple act like chalking a message at a public park or dropping an educational card somewhere for other people to find.

Why Should We Care About The Primary Caregiver? (By The Designated Dad)

hollymilkowski May 11, 2015

This is a public service announcement from me, The Designated Dad, for anyone who has friends or acquaintances with kids. Listen up, because you might learn something that could save your own kid’s life (I’ll get to that in a bit).

When my wife and I have the rare chance to meet new adults together, the introductions seem to wheel in a familiar motion. After exchanging names, more personal questions are posed, and the first question is almost inevitably always this:

I Changed My Mind — I’m No Longer Anti-Circumcision

hollymilkowski May 6, 2015

If you’ve been following my blog and Facebook posts, you know I’m usually quite vocal (visual?) about the dangers and harms of circumcision. But after an interesting conversation with a fellow vendor at the Association of Texas Midwives Conference last week, I want to retract (no pun) any time I’ve used the words “anti-circumcision” to describe myself or my stance. Truth be told, I’ve changed my mind.

The first day of the event, the neighboring vendor struggled to understand what our booth was all about. At first glance he somehow thought we were offering information on piercings for babies. Then he noticed these eye-catching, high-sheen cards…

Child-Led Weaning Awareness Series Pt. 4: What People Say

hollymilkowski April 9, 2015

This is the fourth and final part of a short series about child-led weaning (click for part one, two, and three).

We know the process of weaning — whether led by the child, the mother, a doctor, or society’s expectations — is an emotional, personal, and rather fascinating one.

Let’s finish the discussion with what formula companies, world health authorities and respected figures, parents, researchers, authors, and children have to say about breastfeeding beyond infancy.

Child-Led Weaning Awareness Series Pt. 3: Nursing Older Infants & Toddlers

hollymilkowski April 8, 2015

This is the third part of a short series about child-led weaning (click for part one and part two).

We know the process of weaning — whether led by the child, the mother, a doctor, or society’s expectations — is an emotional, personal, and rather fascinating one.

Let’s continue with a discussion about the benefits, myths, tips, & stories about nursing older infant and toddlers.

Child-Led Weaning Awareness Series Pt. 2: Common Weaning Concerns

hollymilkowski April 6, 2015

This is the second part of a short series about child-led weaning (part one here). We know the process of weaning — whether led by the child, the mother, a doctor, or society’s expectations — is an emotional, personal, and rather fascinating one.

Let’s continue with a discussion about these concerns:

Nursing strikes
What are common concerns in regard to weaning?
Does it spoil an older infant to breastfeed for comfort?

Funnyman Jimmy Kimmel Reminds Us: There’s No Comedy in Cosmetic Surgery For Babies

hollymilkowski March 25, 2015

Meatal stenosis. Go ahead, say it out loud. Doesn’t really sound like something you want to invite over for dinner, much less be prescribed for surgery, right?

Recently, television host and comedian Jimmy Kimmel revealed to a panel at SXSW Festival that he once underwent two surgeries to correct his case of this condition. Kimmel may be a funny man, but there’s nothing funny about this penile complication, which affects the meatus by causing a narrowing and, in his case, closure of the urinary opening.

Thankfully, the dangerous condition is largely preventable in your own sons by simply saying “No” to routine circumcision. Read More

In Honor of Mister Rogers’ Birthday, Check Out His Episode On Breastfeeding

hollymilkowski March 20, 2015

Via IANTB

Happy birthday, Fred Rogers!

Did you know that Mister Rogers aired an episode about how moms feed their babies on his show, “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood”? And yep, he talks about breastfeeding (of course)!

Getting the Cold-Shoulder Because of a Hot Topic: Genital Integrity

hollymilkowski February 25, 2015

I know many family lifestyle writers and baby businesses avoid taking a position on genital integrity for fear of alienating followers or losing customers.

I’ve already been cold-shouldered by otherwise open-minded mama friends who still refuse to acknowledge the truth of neonatal circumcision’s damage.

A Good Mom Cleans Her House… Or, Does No Such Thing

hollymilkowski January 14, 2015

Is a messy house a sure sign that it’s owners are headed for an appearance on “Hoarders” or is there actually some truth to the above quote, especially for stay-at-home parents like myself? Let me tell you a quick story.

Our dishwasher broke just before the holidays. Both sinks, most counter space, and some floor space now accommodate a thick jungle of dirty plates, pots and pans. The cupboards sit hollow and bare, vacant as they were the day we first moved in, as every dish we own has migrated into one of the many indefinitely soiled, Tetris-style stacks.

The Designated Dad and I determined to hand-scrub a certain number of dishes each day until the mess of ceramic and glass fully cleared. This approach worked for, oh, about a few hours — we managed to clean just enough to be able to cook and eat dinner, then those meticulously-scrubbed dishes went right back into the dirty pile as if by boomerang.

Our food was salted by tears that evening, I’m certain.

Child Says “No” to Circumcision, Court Orders the Cosmetic Surgery Anyway

hollymilkowski November 12, 2014

One day soon, he’ll wake up from general anesthesia with a bandage on his penis, holding together the raw wound from a freshly amputated foreskin, stuck with sick pride like a narcissist’s apology. He’ll receive no explanation other than “It’s what your father wanted,” because his anguished mother had been placed under a gag order. After this life-altering day, he will experience the permanent loss of a normally-functioning body organ, and undoubtedly the irreversible physical effects of such. One cannot foresee the severity of either these effects or those of extremely plausible post-traumatic stress and psychological battery.

Sadly, as it stands now, a broken body can be expected. Then a broken spirit will make a broken boy, and a gruesome example of justice for human rights in modern America.

Before Baby’s First Bath, Learn About These 9 Things

hollymilkowski August 9, 2014

1). Vernix

Babies are born with a natural skin-protecting substance called vernix. This should not be wiped away from the skin; rather, it can be rubbed into the skin for maximum absorption. This covering, which was laid down in the third trimester of pregnancy, has many important functions: easing transition to life outside the uterus, offering body temperature control, “skin surface adaptation,” plus antioxidant, anti-infective, wound-healing, and moisturizing properties, and it has been shown to be a more effective skin cleanser than commercial soaps. A study published by American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology called Antimocrobial Properties of Amniotic Fluid and Vernix Caseosa are Similar to Those Found in Breast Milk came upon some rather fascinating and groundbreaking findings, some of which unveiled some new information about vernix.

Very First Doctor’s Note for Baby (Copy & Bring to the Birth Hospital)

hollymilkowski August 7, 2014

I’m a healthy full-term baby. I’m exclusively breastfed.

I trust that my Mommy knows best, so please ask her, _________ (mother’s name), whether it’s okay to give me anything other than her milk. This includes water, glucose syrup, formula, and even pacifiers.

I eat on-cue.

But please help my Mommy to breastfeed me every 1-3 hours while we’re in the hospital by tending to her childbirth recovery needs while she tends to mine.

I need to stay with my Mommy at all times.

Her designated birth partner, ________(birth partner’s name) will stay with me in the event that I might need to leave her side (let’s do all of my pediatric check-ups at the side of her bed or in her arms! Thanks!).

We’re both new to this, so we like to consider all decisions together very carefully.

We decided to postpone my first bath, so…

Mommy will let you know when it’s okay to bathe me.
Also, I don’t want an unnecessary surgery right now, so…

whether I’m a boy or a girl, my genitals will remain intact.
We have a limited list of approved visitors, so…

please double-check about visitors because we need private time to bond.

With love and trust,

___________________________________________________ Mommy’s Signature

___________________________________________________ Baby’s Name

La Leche League Texas Area Conference 2014

hollymilkowski August 4, 2014

My favorite conference-y stuff this year with La Leche League:

This amazing auction win, “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding,” for which the awesome, can’t-be-outbid-for-anything Designated Dad fought pretty hard. The “Buy It Now” price? …priceless. Why? Because it’s an early copy signed by all seven original La Leche League founders, several of whom are no longer alive.