Lactation Limericks from Kellymom


I found these limericks on an older Kellymom Facebook wall post. Too hilarious not to share. Enjoy!

My babies? They all liked the boob.
To my chest they were constantly glued.
They would nestle the mug in,
Take a sniff and then plug in,
Mom’s too lazy for food in a tube.
—Belinda Mendoza Franke

A twist like you’d see in the movies,
a young lady who hated her boobies,
a huge change of heart,
now they’re her fave part,
since she used them for feeding her newbies!
—Laura Griffin

There was a young baby from Bude,
Who drank milk from his mummy’s boob.
They once went to London,
his tummy was rumblin’,
So he had a wee snack on the tube!
—Amanda Moomin McCabe

One morning a new mom said, “Hey,
My breasts are much bigger today!
Despite the IV,
That’s colostrum I see,
So we’re going to nurse anyway!”
—Tova Ovits

My mommy’s boobies are best.
I cuddle them when I rest.
A wholesome snack,
From that comfortable rack,
Made me ace my intelligence test!
—Marya Kozik LaRoche

I’m growing a babe in my tummy
Who can’t wait to eat what’s most yummy
I’ll give him the best
Milk straight from the breast
And then he won’t be no dummy!
—Jessica Shaham

We ought to feed Junior the best, Fred.
The goods are right here on my chest, Fred.
Don’t do things by halves;
Cows’ milk is for calves!
He’s best fed the best, Fred, he’s breastfed!
—Donnelle Belanger-Taylor

Through nursing I’d smile and I’d pout
Two done, one is still at the spout
He drinks and he munches
From dinners to lunches
Hope I don’t get the door with “them” out.
—Amy Skinner Cummings

There once was a baby who liked to eat,
His love for milky could never be beat,
He nursed night and day,
But the fat rolls gave that away,
It is shocking he can even see his feet.
—Shannon McGuire

There once was a girl named Lulu,
Who would nurse on side one then side two.
She would start on the right,
Then proceed quite all night,
‘Til her mom felt she may as well moo.
—Galen Duffy

They were once two boys that loved boob
A big toddler and a wee newb
When the breasts would appear
A loud squeal you would hear
Of joy for their favorite food.
—Emily Glass

There once was a babe from the Midwest
who was born to be fed at the breast
Whether by day or by night
her most favorite sight
was of dear mama’s bare chest
—Jorie Martin Roubitchek

There once was a mama who knew it all.
Would wean baby at one, it was the right call.
But then Baby turned one,
and sure wasn’t done,
and with full term nursing in love they would fall.
–Yaro Trujillo

There was once a pro-breastfeeding dad,
Whom formula really made mad.
“Health benefits!” said he,
“And besides, can’t you see?
My wife’s boobs would make any man glad!”

There once was a mama named Keek,
Who always went out looking chic.
She wore black while about town,
Which was good when she letdown,
And found that “the girls” sprung a leak!

I have 4 kids named Sadie, Maggie, Sam and Jake.
And my breast they all did love to take.
When my nursing days are over,
My breasts will meet hubby under the cover,
And I know my heart will ache.
—Stacey Hodgeman

Also read The Lament of the Postpartum Executive by Carlotta Eike Stankiewicz aka The Well-Versed Mom.