Category: Controversies

What That Doctor Who’s “Not Celebrating World Breastfeeding Week” Needs To Hear

hollymilkowski August 9, 2015

Way to try raining on our parade with something other than, you know, breast milk — which would’ve been very welcome this week!

There’s a piece circulating on the internet, made popular recently due to the fact that it’s World Breastfeeding Week and August is National Breastfeeding Month (let’s call these WBW).

Many people (even those who aren’t breastfeeding) have been celebrating in different ways. Some haven’t been celebrating because they had no idea it’s a week and month designated to breastfeeding. Or they do know but don’t really care.

And then, some are actively NOT celebrating because they do know and they do care. So much that they publicized their refusal to celebrate. One author who goes by the name of Dr. Amy Tuteur did just that. (Edit: Originally I linked to her full article, but I’m sure it’s received enough clicks at this point).

Now a few quotes from Dr. Amy’s article and what I think she needs to hear in response:

Celebrating Autonomy of the Heart; Educating About Autonomy of All Parts

hollymilkowski July 7, 2015

Last week, the U.S. Supreme Court ruling to legalize gay marriage gave men and women who desire same-sex partnership the right to autonomy of their hearts.

Well-deserved, the celebration owed to this phenomenal development should last at least as long as the history of gay injustice. Still we cannot help but see this historical moment as a telling reminder: we’ve only just taken the first steps toward ending a collection of outdated oppressions targeting LGBT people in America.

The protection of a particular other human right is still withheld from a significant portion of the gay community (and their straight supporters and non-supporters alike).

650 million males currently living worldwide are victims of genital cutting (compared to 100 million victims of female genital cutting). In the United States, more than a million boys are cut every year; about 3,000 every day. Based on the (probably low) estimate that about 10% of the population identifies with being primarily homosexual, that means 65 million gay males have been circumcised.

Defending Yourself Is Disrespectful, Say A Few Loud Ones Against Public Breastfeeding

hollymilkowski June 17, 2015

A few of the comments on a recent reactionary post I wrote are getting… a little out-of-hand, I’d say.

I don’t censor any non-spamming comments on my posts because I find great value in upholding the right to free speech and sharing of ideas. I personally feel that disapproving certain comments that rub me the wrong way could be likened to demanding that a breastfeeding mother throw a cover over her torso and child when in public just because someone can’t handle it.

Now I must learn how to handle things I don’t agree with too, such as antagonistic comments. (A heavy bet that zero of the nay-saying commenters would dare peep a word directly to me if they actually saw me breastfeeding in public).

I Caused My Relatives “Heartache” By Breastfeeding In Public

hollymilkowski June 15, 2015

First, A Little Background…

I went to a destination wedding this weekend in Charleston with my husband a.k.a. The Designated Dad (TDD) and our nursling MaiTai. The Bride and Groom are close relatives and TDD was the Best Man.

The first night I was excited to attend the rehearsal dinner. Shortly after arriving, I left briefly to use the bathroom. On my way back I was cornered — literally cornered — by the dinner’s host (another close family member). Let’s call him… Dinner Host.

“I need you to do me a big favor,” Dinner Host said. Ooh, exciting! I must be in on some kind of special surprise, I figured. Jokingly, I said, “Maybe, depends on the favor!”

Dinner Host’s face turned solemn and funereal. Something serious was afoot. Something dramatic. The thought actually crossed my mind if he was about to ask me to take someone to the Emergency Room.

“Holly,” he said. “I’m asking that if [MaiTai] needs to nurse tonight, that you go somewhere else. I know you’re very passionate about this, but honestly it isn’t the time or place.” Read More

22 of America’s Favorite Things To Say About Male Circumcision

hollymilkowski June 9, 2015

The man in a white van had slowed down to read our signs, then circled back around to park next to us. It was a week ago when Intact Houston and other Texas advocates gathered in the Houston Med Center for a demonstration to spread awareness for the landmark Chase Nebus-Hironimus case.

I felt excited that he was interested in our demonstration enough to come all the way back, but my optimism evaporated as soon as he opened his mouth.

He said a boy’s circumcision should be the business of no one except his father.

Brelfies Aren’t TMI — They Celebrate a Power Exclusive to “Mom Bods”

hollymilkowski June 1, 2015

Have you shared a “brelfie” (breastfeeding selfie) lately? A brelfie is a good thing, and here’s why.

We absolutely need to see positive, educational breastfeeding images on social media and to encounter these maternal norms on a daily basis. Women learn how to breastfeed by example and observation, as is the natural design, rather than by instinctual expertise. For a new mother, breastfeeding is like using a muscle she’s never used before — NOT like picking up an exercise routine with the blessing of muscle memory (even with breastfeeding experience, she still must learn afresh how to breastfeed each new child).

Write A Letter Like This To Help Protect Chase From Unwanted Circumcision

hollymilkowski May 21, 2015

Chase Nebus-Hironimus, the Florida child caught in the center of a parental battle over the state of his foreskin, now stands at great risk of being circumcised against his will at any time. But there is still hope and we must do what we can to continue to support him with our best efforts.

You can help at the convenient, comfortable location of your home or during your lunch break at work. An easy action for you, a potentially life-changing one for Chase.

The Park Is No Place For A Child To Find Out He’s Circumcised

hollymilkowski May 19, 2015

Did you notice the chalked messages on the asphalt of your city earlier this month?

Based on anecdotal experiences and observations on social media, I gather that some people were upset and offended by the colorful creations. They expressed concern that these messages are terrifically inappropriate displayed in public spaces where children can see them.

Genital autonomy advocates across the nation wielded chalk in recognition of Worldwide Week of Genital Autonomy, which ended on May 7th. Hosted as an event for The Intact Network/Saving Our Sons, activists were encouraged to create awareness about the harms of routine infant circumcision (RIC) by doing a simple act like chalking a message at a public park or dropping an educational card somewhere for other people to find.

I Changed My Mind — I’m No Longer Anti-Circumcision

hollymilkowski May 6, 2015

If you’ve been following my blog and Facebook posts, you know I’m usually quite vocal (visual?) about the dangers and harms of circumcision. But after an interesting conversation with a fellow vendor at the Association of Texas Midwives Conference last week, I want to retract (no pun) any time I’ve used the words “anti-circumcision” to describe myself or my stance. Truth be told, I’ve changed my mind.

The first day of the event, the neighboring vendor struggled to understand what our booth was all about. At first glance he somehow thought we were offering information on piercings for babies. Then he noticed these eye-catching, high-sheen cards…

Breastfeeding on Magazine Covers

hollymilkowski March 6, 2015

Natural Mother Magazine just released its special issue with 116 pages all about breastfeeding. (You can read the whole thing online here for free). So, that’s the good news.

The bad news: When NMM attempted to promote its Facebook post announcing the issue’s launch with the cover image, Facebook responded with this message:

Via Natural Mother Magazine, Facebook

No cleavage allowed? Okay, fine. But then why do Sports Illustrated bikini images pass the censors with no problem? Consistency with rules is key, Facebook. Also worthy of note: NMM’s appeal was not accepted.

To help NMM out, you can share the post found here with #‎facebookstopcensoringbreastfeeding‬.

In support of NMM’s appeal that breastfeeding is NOT “explicit or suggestive,” and in honor of NMM’s generosity to gift its readers with a humongous edition all about breastfeeding, here’s an ode to eight other magazines that featured breastfeeding front and center.

Now these are the kind of “nursing covers” I can get behind!

Said The Wrong Thing To a Breastfeeding Mother? No Worries, Make Amends Just Like This.

hollymilkowski February 27, 2015

Via Stouthaus Coffee/Facebook

Want some milk with your cuppa joe? Recently at Stouthaus Coffee in Austin, TX, it wasn’t very clear whether mama’s milk was welcome on the premises.

Stop Dropping Your Shirts Here, says a “nurturing” play place for families

hollymilkowski February 23, 2015

Via MassLive

Breastfeeding harassment is not always “in your face.” Often, it takes place behind the anonymity of a computer screen shield in online forums and posts. Sometimes it comes in the form of a “well-meaning” but still uncomfortable comment from a relative or friend. It’s also apparent by complaints made by strangers behind a mother’s back.

Here’s an example of the extremely ANTI-BABY culture that some regions in our nation call normal. Last week, Play Date Place in South Hadley, Massachusetts, which bills itself as a nurturing place (rather, “nuturing,” because PDP’s representative isn’t so gifted wit da grammurr), posted this on its Facebook page:

Why Do Some Breastfeeders Wear a Cover in Public?

hollymilkowski February 6, 2015

Looking annoyed. >:-I Via etsy.com

Why do some mothers nurse under the curtain if the law says we don’t have to? Well, it’s not really anyone’s business why a woman may want to wear a cover, so if you feel a curiosity overtaking you, please know it’s best not to ask. I’ll give you a few hints though, based on my own experience and what I’ve heard.

I’ve heard that nursing bibs/aprons/tents are an “American” thing and that foreigners are baffled by their mere existence. Thus, we could hypothesize the reason for covered breastfeeding is simply the influence of Yankee Doodle, but let’s not jump to conclusions just yet.

Child Says “No” to Circumcision, Court Orders the Cosmetic Surgery Anyway

hollymilkowski November 12, 2014

One day soon, he’ll wake up from general anesthesia with a bandage on his penis, holding together the raw wound from a freshly amputated foreskin, stuck with sick pride like a narcissist’s apology. He’ll receive no explanation other than “It’s what your father wanted,” because his anguished mother had been placed under a gag order. After this life-altering day, he will experience the permanent loss of a normally-functioning body organ, and undoubtedly the irreversible physical effects of such. One cannot foresee the severity of either these effects or those of extremely plausible post-traumatic stress and psychological battery.

Sadly, as it stands now, a broken body can be expected. Then a broken spirit will make a broken boy, and a gruesome example of justice for human rights in modern America.

Does Breastfeeding Mean the End of Happy Hours?

hollymilkowski November 9, 2014

Giving beer to a baby is bad. Giving breast milk to a baby is good. Giving beer to a breastfeeding mother… well, let’s talk about that.

In March, a woman in Arkansas was arrested on the basis of child endangerment for breastfeeding in a restaurant after consuming two beers. In September, a Virginia woman was kicked out of Big Woody’s Bar & Grill for — yep, you guessed it — sipping a beer (only one sip, she says) while breastfeeding her 11-month-old. I know, I know… “What was she thinking bringing a child to a bar?!” A bar & GRILL, actually. You know, more Chili’s, less Coyote Ugly. (And the particular establishment bills itself as “family friendly”). The woman also claims she is a degreed chemist who has done her research and knows how much alcohol she can have without affecting her breast milk.

Did these women deserve arrest and refusal? Were they misguided to think their behaviors were perfectly harmless, or do they know something their persecutors don’t? Let’s see…