Mama's Milk, No Chaser

Seasonal Breastfeeding Saboteurs on Thanksgiving Day

hollymilkowski November 19, 2014

You sit down to the dinner table on Thanksgiving Day with nursling in tow. The unenlightened relative to your left makes a joke about “juicy breasts” (on the turkey, natch), and the friend to your right commits you as her official Black Friday shopping buddy. It seems that everyone is begging to give your exclusively-breastfed baby a taste of the mashed potatoes, and the smell of sage wafts so heavy from the kitchen that you can taste it on your pecan pie.

How can a room full of blessings and joy be so full of breastfeeding landmines, too? Thankfully (because it’s just that holiday), you can move forth into the upcoming turkey-carving and gourd-displaying processions without threat to your nursing relationship so long as you know where to look.

Here’s a quick rundown. Read More

Child Says “No” to Circumcision, Court Orders the Cosmetic Surgery Anyway

hollymilkowski November 12, 2014

One day soon, he’ll wake up from general anesthesia with a bandage on his penis, holding together the raw wound from a freshly amputated foreskin, stuck with sick pride like a narcissist’s apology. He’ll receive no explanation other than “It’s what your father wanted,” because his anguished mother had been placed under a gag order. After this life-altering day, he will experience the permanent loss of a normally-functioning body organ, and undoubtedly the irreversible physical effects of such. One cannot foresee the severity of either these effects or those of extremely plausible post-traumatic stress and psychological battery.

Sadly, as it stands now, a broken body can be expected. Then a broken spirit will make a broken boy, and a gruesome example of justice for human rights in modern America.

Does Breastfeeding Mean the End of Happy Hours?

hollymilkowski November 9, 2014

Giving beer to a baby is bad. Giving breast milk to a baby is good. Giving beer to a breastfeeding mother… well, let’s talk about that.

In March, a woman in Arkansas was arrested on the basis of child endangerment for breastfeeding in a restaurant after consuming two beers. In September, a Virginia woman was kicked out of Big Woody’s Bar & Grill for — yep, you guessed it — sipping a beer (only one sip, she says) while breastfeeding her 11-month-old. I know, I know… “What was she thinking bringing a child to a bar?!” A bar & GRILL, actually. You know, more Chili’s, less Coyote Ugly. (And the particular establishment bills itself as “family friendly”). The woman also claims she is a degreed chemist who has done her research and knows how much alcohol she can have without affecting her breast milk.

Did these women deserve arrest and refusal? Were they misguided to think their behaviors were perfectly harmless, or do they know something their persecutors don’t? Let’s see…

6 “Helpful” Things You Should Stop Saying to Moms Who are Nursing in Public

hollymilkowski October 28, 2014

We all know the deserved reaction to harsh comments about breastfeeding in public. Someone who says “That’s gross!” might benefit from being handed a therapist’s business card. Someone who insists “No one wants to SEE that!” could use a reminder that it takes only 30 degrees of movement to make a publicly breastfeeding pair disappear from peripheral view, if so necessary. Whoever snidely laughs, “Stop trying so hard to prove a point!” may be appropriately received with literature on biology and survival (preferably a hardback cover straight to the face), the “point” of ensuring that our children stay alive and happy.

What concerns me more than the pitifully ignorant and sadly classless ones are the well-intentioned ones who occasionally say the wrong thing too, and risk causing as much harm as the jerks. For especially sensitive women (read: virtually all postpartum mothers), certain phrases, questions, statements can be taken the wrong way.

My One-Nurse Stand with a Nipple Shield

hollymilkowski October 21, 2014

Everyone experiments… with breastfeeding advice! It’s true. Maybe you got suckered into buying those over-the-counter alcohol screeners to test the “safety” of your breast milk only to realize you can just measure your drinks for free, if you’re so inclined. Maybe you tried nursing your baby on the left side while pumping on the right (because ability to multitask is a commodity of motherhood) only to watch as antsy infant legs knock 10 ounces of just-expressed milk to the floor. Or maybe you casually decided to surprise your older infant with a nipple shield, as if no proper introduction is needed, only to find out they’d never play nice together.

The 7 Grossest Breastfeeding Ads

hollymilkowski October 15, 2014

Nursing Support

How Should Breastfeeding Make You Feel?

hollymilkowski October 13, 2014

Now I don’t mean what does it feel like physically (you can read about that here). I mean, what does it make you? Just simply you plus milk-making ability? Or does it make you feel like something else entirely… perhaps like a cow?

Like a pinup?

Like a goddess?

A prisoner?

A machine?

Miraculous?

Or maybe like a woman, perhaps truly for the first time?

Breastfeeding in Public: It is (Not) a Big Deal!

hollymilkowski October 13, 2014

Breastfeeding moms are kind of ridiculous.

Seems like all we say is, “Hey, breastfeeding is so not a big deal! Lighten up, naysayers!” But then we stage nurse-ins, tweet to businesses that have mistreated us, and remind everyone from our friends to the mailman about the zillion ways that “breast is best.” I know, it’s a bit backwards to make a point of talking about breastfeeding at every chance, purposefully inflating it into a big deal when the bottom line of our advocating is, “Hey people, breastfeeding is NOT a big deal!”

Especially, especially, especially… breastfeeding in public.

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Can I Jump Out of My Skin Yet, Please?

hollymilkowski September 25, 2014

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There are some things a hug won’t fix.

Like when you’re desperate to jump out of your own skin because it feels like everyone wants a piece of you — everyone from the kids to the husband to the family pet. And all you want is a piece of your goddamn personal bubble.

“I’m done, just DONE!”

“I just want to be left alone with no one touching me.”

“I need my own body back.”

Oy, there I go quoting myself again! Let’s defer to an expert. Clinical social worker and Momaste blogger Charlotte Porter describes being all touched-out as “the physical and emotional sensation of wanting to hatch out of your own flesh at the touch of another. For me it manifests as an internal itching and crawling of my skin. It comes from the never-ending demands our little ones place on our physical and emotional being, since conception.”

It’s Great That Baby Likes to Suck, but Breastfeeding Straight-Up SUCKS!

hollymilkowski September 1, 2014

If breastfeeding had remained static in all the physically burdensome, emotionally draining, and psychologically-testing aspects as it were in the first six weeks or so, then would I still be nursing?

Well, yes!

But I say that only because I grew a whole other heart for breastfeeding as time progressed. Breastfeeding may have helped shrink my uterus back into its petite pre-partum shape, but it created something else entirely to take its place. Something knitted of emotions, and big enough to house a whole growing child.

Of course, the answer that makes more sense is… No.

Before Baby’s First Bath, Learn About These 9 Things

hollymilkowski August 9, 2014

1). Vernix

Babies are born with a natural skin-protecting substance called vernix. This should not be wiped away from the skin; rather, it can be rubbed into the skin for maximum absorption. This covering, which was laid down in the third trimester of pregnancy, has many important functions: easing transition to life outside the uterus, offering body temperature control, “skin surface adaptation,” plus antioxidant, anti-infective, wound-healing, and moisturizing properties, and it has been shown to be a more effective skin cleanser than commercial soaps. A study published by American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology called Antimocrobial Properties of Amniotic Fluid and Vernix Caseosa are Similar to Those Found in Breast Milk came upon some rather fascinating and groundbreaking findings, some of which unveiled some new information about vernix.

Is Your Doc Breastfeeding-Friendly or Breastfeeding Phony?

hollymilkowski August 8, 2014

Photo Credit: Ana & Ivan Lifestyle Photography

At MaiTai’s first well baby check-up, his pediatrician was supportive of his being breastfed. She assured me, “Your milk is good, don’t worry!” (Okay, I hadn’t been worrying… until now?). When MaiTai turned six months old, she was also supportive of continued breastfeeding coupled with the Baby-Led Weaning method of solid food introduction when I mentioned that the traditional puree-spooning route that she typically suggests (like most pediatricians) just wasn’t for us. At his one year appointment, naturally I expected her to be supportive of continued breastfeeding. To my surprise and disappointment, she was not. In fact, when she found out we were still giving the boob, she said, “You should really switch to cow’s milk now. It’s more nutritious.” Is it? Is it??

Here’s what I think. If your breastfeeding-friendliness has an expiration date then you aren’t truly breastfeeding-friendly. If you give out the expert pediatric advice that an infant should switch to another species’ breast milk due to an untrue claim, then not only are you not breastfeeding-friendly, but also not breastfeeding-educated. A frightening pair of descriptors for an individual with pull and power within the professional medical community and influence among new parents.

Was our pediatrician the only one? Let’s take a look at the bigger picture.

Very First Doctor’s Note for Baby (Copy & Bring to the Birth Hospital)

hollymilkowski August 7, 2014

I’m a healthy full-term baby. I’m exclusively breastfed.

I trust that my Mommy knows best, so please ask her, _________ (mother’s name), whether it’s okay to give me anything other than her milk. This includes water, glucose syrup, formula, and even pacifiers.

I eat on-cue.

But please help my Mommy to breastfeed me every 1-3 hours while we’re in the hospital by tending to her childbirth recovery needs while she tends to mine.

I need to stay with my Mommy at all times.

Her designated birth partner, ________(birth partner’s name) will stay with me in the event that I might need to leave her side (let’s do all of my pediatric check-ups at the side of her bed or in her arms! Thanks!).

We’re both new to this, so we like to consider all decisions together very carefully.

We decided to postpone my first bath, so…

Mommy will let you know when it’s okay to bathe me.
Also, I don’t want an unnecessary surgery right now, so…

whether I’m a boy or a girl, my genitals will remain intact.
We have a limited list of approved visitors, so…

please double-check about visitors because we need private time to bond.

With love and trust,

___________________________________________________ Mommy’s Signature

___________________________________________________ Baby’s Name

Demonstrating Breastfeeding Positions – With Dolls, Because… Dolls Cooperate

hollymilkowski August 5, 2014

So, it turns out you can’t just install your baby onto your chest (like a car seat, top-end up and rear-facing), then just kinda expect feeding to happen. Nope, you are the car seat! Which means you’ll have to figure out how to buckle your baby around the boob using the rest of your body.

If you’re new to holding babies, don’t stress if you thought you’d instinctively know how to hold yours while nursing. Sometimes, a change in positioning is all it takes to make breastfeeding snafus less snafu-y. Most likely, you and your baby will find a favorite position that works best with each age and stage.

La Leche League Texas Area Conference 2014

hollymilkowski August 4, 2014

My favorite conference-y stuff this year with La Leche League:

This amazing auction win, “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding,” for which the awesome, can’t-be-outbid-for-anything Designated Dad fought pretty hard. The “Buy It Now” price? …priceless. Why? Because it’s an early copy signed by all seven original La Leche League founders, several of whom are no longer alive.